Dad treats my siblings far better than me
So I’m a 25 year old male and my sisters are 26 and 18.
In short, I am treated far less than my sisters. My dad always takes their side in confrontations where we’re both at fault, he pays for everything they want. I drive a 13 year old car and when my older sister totaled her lexus, he got her a brand new BMW 3 series. Meanwhile, I still drive HIS old car that I am totally thankful for, but its the principle behind the unfairness that really irks me.
I have always been the highest achieving and tried my best to save him money by getting scholarships and going to state schools and took up jobs to help pay my way.
My older sister got to go to a more expensive private school that was much lower in rank, and he paid the way in full.
I guess it has to do with some antiquated notion of men being able to carry themselves but I think it’s sexist he thinks my older sister can’t be successful without his help.
My younger sister is not a problem. But she does get way more financial help than I do. She is the favorite and it shows
I’m currently a student in law school and upon hearing of my 1st semester grades (they were good), my sister said grades didn’t matter. Every effort I make to show how hard im working and how much expense I have saved my dad is discredited and dismissed. Maybe I should just total my car so he’ll reward that kind of behavior with a nice new luxury vehicle.
I spent years sacrificing spring break trips to save him money while all my friends went together. He could afford to send me, but I dare not ask. I also was the only kid who stood by him during a divorce when my mom cheated on him and listened to him complain about my sisters not talking/visiting him for years. I bore the brunt of the emotional trauma and lost a lot of friends and some focus in school, but not enough to not get into law school. I was not allowed to reach out to my mom during undergrad out of guilt for “betraying him” and losing the part of my tuition he paid. That is lost time and emotional damage I can’t make up.
I’m not a spoiled brat, I’m just resentful to watch those who did the least for him benefit from him the most. It is a slap to the face for what I and any normal, level-headed kid would have done for their father who they love and respect. He is more than capable of treating me fairly, but does not choose to do so.
He is sick, plays favorites, talks about how the dogs want to kill me (then laughs) and shit talks me to his coworkers and his girlfriend. He derives sick pleasure from the power he has by being in the cat birds seat. He told me one time he thought my older sister was sleeping with her boss (which she would never do, but it shows how messed up he thinks)
I am getting to spend Christmas alone while he gets to spend it with his GF, leaving me to take care of his dogs at his house, while my sister get to go have a normal christmas at their mothers.
What approach should I take? Every time I bring this up to him I am made to feel guilty. What can I do?
Sorry for the long post, but thank you for your time and consideration.
TL;DR: My dad plays favorites and is unfair with how he treats his kids.
Submitted December 24, 2020 at 09:02AM by Tyrannosaurus-Flex12 https://ift.tt/3pnOJcO
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