On mobile, TLDR at the bottom.
My (25F) husband (27M) has always struggled with anxiety and depression. He also has an addictive personality and has struggled with opiates in the past, although to my knowledge it’s resolved. He used to smoke weed, but then he got tired of that. 5 years ago He tried SSRIs for a month and saw a therapist for a month but then said it didn’t work and weaned himself off and quit. He found yoga and started micro-dosing shrooms, and has also tried MDMA and LSD, citing studies that they’ve helped with depression and anxiety. Every time he tries something new, that’s THE cure for his problems, until it’s not.
We’ve been to therapy together.
He’s always had intermittent depressive episodes, but this was the worst I’ve ever seen him. Shaking on the ground, gasping, sobbing, saying he wasn’t normal, something is wrong, the planet is dying, he’s “awake” and awarenow and doesn’t want to go back to sleep, he doesn’t know what to do with his life, he wants to help others, just everything. All things I noticed were things he became “aware” of because of the psychedelics. It was almost constant for 5 days. I ended up taking him to the county mental health crisis center because he doesn’t have insurance and I didn’t know what else to do. They gave him a sedative and sent him home.
The next day I called him while I was at work and he seemed a little better. He had called his yoga teacher, who he looks up to, and they had talked. He starts telling me how what happened was normal because the world is such an evil place and that his yoga teacher had a similar experience and it’s part of a spiritual awakening. I couldn’t believe it.
I told him what happened was a nervous breakdown and he needed help. And that the psychedelics were obviously creating anxious ideation, they are known to worsen depression and anxiety in some people and doing it without supervision is dangerous and he shouldn’t anymore.
His panic attack was scary for me. I felt so helpless, I tried to talk to him and calm him and I gave him a shower. I cuddled him. For 5 days. I was a mess the whole day he was at the crisis center, they wouldn’t let me in and took his phone.
I can’t do it anymore. I work in healthcare, I was making mistakes at work because my brain was so fried from trying to help him. I’m exhausted. Our marriage won’t survive another episode.
TLDR
I told him he needed to get help. His mental health issues have affected our relationship, but this was a whole other level. I simply cannot anymore. So I said I can’t be with him if he doesn’t get help. He thinks this is a spiritual awakening. I don’t know what to say or do.
Submitted December 04, 2020 at 02:48PM by imshelbs96 https://ift.tt/3lNjBBo
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