I [F 38] got convinced to come and visit a friend [M 40] I haven't seen in years and stay at his place is becoming incredibly uncomfortable and awkward, I'm supposed to be here till January 1st but I'd rather leave in 2 days. What do I say?
We've been friends for 20 years. We were roommates for 3 years (from when he was 22, I was 20 at the time). After that we lost contact as I moved to another country. We reconnected around 2013, saw each other twice at friend's wedding/ another get together etc. We would message infrequently on social media and he'd occasionally call me. Anyway, he recently moved to a place with no Covid restrictions and knowing I recently ended a relationship and was down about this year being a literal nightmare he insisted I come visit him to cheer up as I wasn't able to visit my family for Christmas.
I thought what the hell and flew over. First two days were fine but I started noticing he hasn't really changed much since he was 20. Back then he was rather clingy and needy, never a bad guy, just immature and suffered from a "nice guy" syndrome. But we were all a bunch of potheads with our issues and we partied together a lot and tolerated our quirks as you do when you're young.
Over the last few days his neediness increased to the point of him throwing a temper tantrum the other night when we were in a bar having good time with a bunch of people and he didn't like the fact I spoke to a guy I met at the bar and let him buy me a drink. My friend got up and left suddenly without much explanation. When I got home shortly after and asked what was that all about he seemed annoyed and said he removed himself in case I wanted to fuck that guy. Seriously, wtf. Since when chatting to someone in a social setting equals wanting to fuck them?
Another thing is that when he spoke to the same guy the other night he told him I was his ex girlfriend which is not true. We never dated, kissed etc.
He doesn't seem to have any friends, a colleague of his invited us to their house for xmas BBQ and I'm dreading it since the rest of the company he works for is supposed to be there and now I'm wondering what did he tell them? That I'm his ex girlfriend visiting? That we're having sex? And if anyone mentions it should I pretend whatever he said is true or embarrass him and clear things up which would make him look like a liar?
I'm also really put off by his inability to read social cues, he doesn't seem to understand the concept of physical space. He's always standing or talking to me so close he's almost touching me, if I take a step back he takes a step forward. If we go shopping he stays right next to me constantly, follows me into every aisle. This morning we were walking and I ended up walking on the road because he was getting so close all the time he literally made me step off the sidewalk. I finally told him to give me a bit of space and he did but only for few minutes.
Another thing is that whenever I mention a male friend he asks if I slept with him/dated him etc. He also brags about drinking and driving/driving stoned which I find distasteful to say th least.
This whole thing is a disaster. He's not an abuser or sexual predator by the way in case my post makes him sound like it. He's just very childish and doesn't seem to understand how boundaries work. I don't think he's ever been in a relationship and he doesn't have any friends. If anything I feel really bad for him, also immensely guilty for accepting his hospitality and generosity in having me as his house guest. But I can't stay here till NYE or I'll go insane. How on earth do I leave early without hurting his feelings? He expressed he'd like to come and visit me where I live and the right way would be to reciprocate his invitation but there is no way I can go through this again at my place. What do I do?
TL;DR! Friend invited me to visit him and is now making me feel uncomfortable
Submitted December 23, 2020 at 04:38PM by Primary_Ordinary_330 https://ift.tt/3plfq1M
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