10 years ago, my dog maimed my niece. Now I’m thinking of getting a new dog and my sister is furious.

TL;DR: My dog severely bit my niece when she was little, causing permanent damage. She has recovered but my sister hasn’t. Now I’m thinking of getting a new dog and my sister is threatening to cut me out of her life.

Okay, some back story: about 10 years ago, I was at a family gathering at my sister’s house with her husband and three-year-old daughter. My partner and I brought our dog Bette, who had always been extremely gentle around my niece and all other kids, dogs and adults. Bette was not an “aggressive breed” (if you were wondering) and I really didn’t think twice about having her off leash in the yard. We’d done it a million times before.

We think Bette was sleeping and my niece woke her up by poking her in the face. Bette reacted by biting my niece on the face, causing permanent scarring and partial blindness in her left eye. Obviously that day is one of our worst memories as a family. Bette was put down (though she had had no previous bites, we made the decision as a family), and my niece had to go through many surgeries, which my partner and I helped to pay for.

So now it’s been 10 years. My niece is a lovely teenager and though she does have scarring/blindness from the attack, she is very very chill about it and honestly way sweeter than she should be. I have no doubt it has caused her pain at school and in other settings, but we spend a lot of time together and she often jokes about it. Saying “dammit, sleepy Bette!” is one of our inside jokes together.

Meanwhile my sister is still furious with me. She believes (maybe rightly) that my negligence cost her daughter a lot of happiness and opportunities in life. She worries that she will not be able to date or get job prospects because of how she looks, though I think that’s overblown given that her scarring is not that bad and her personality is amazing. But I get why my sister is angry — I just think the punishment is not totally deserved at this point.

Anyway, the thing that complicates all this is that my partner and I would like to get another dog. We are childfree and allergic to cats, and a dog would really bring us joy. I would be fine if my niece never wanted to see the dog, but in fact she likes dogs. My sister, however, has said in no uncertain terms that if we get a dog, she will never forgive me and may stop speaking to me.

What should I do? I guess I’m asking in terms of the dog, but also in terms of my relationship with my sister, which is so broken from this. Any advice is appreciated.

Submitted December 23, 2020 at 02:04PM by throwawaydogmom https://ift.tt/37IqrV6