I’ve been married to my husband 2 years and dated 3 years before that. When we met I was a college student and he was doing his PhD (not at the same university). We have a lot in common as far as an interest in politics and art. I care about him a lot.
I work a full time job and am constantly looking for ways to “climb the ladder.” He adjuncts at the local university. He teaches 1-2 classes at a time and tutors a little on the side to make extra money. He works on his research a little.
My problem is that he never wants to do anything. He hates to travel - like he doesn’t even like the idea of going on a weekend getaway, he doesn’t even like to go on dates locally (pre-covid), and even hates accompanying me to get groceries. He’d rather be at home. He doesn’t really do anything at home either. He’s not a video game addict or anything. Not a drug user. Like - we were visiting Europe together a few months ago to visit his family and I had to BEG him to spend a couple nights in Paris with me. Money certainly wasn’t the problem and neither was time. He just didn’t want to go. When I do finally drag him out of the house, he is miserable and does nothing to hide it. He expects me to just ignore him. During our honeymoon, he stayed in the hotel room the whole time.
It seems like simple conversations with me make him exhausted. He is constantly tired and can’t even seem to complete basic tasks without complaining of being tired.
Am I an awful person for feeling resentful? Is there something I’m not seeing????
Tl;dr - my husband hates doing anything even with me and I feel really resentful.
Edited: slight grammatical errors
Edit 2: He wasn’t always like this. When we first started dating we were very busy (he was finishing his PhD and I was finishing my BA). We used to go out to eat every weekend and travel together every once in a while. But I guess I chalked some of this behavior up to being busy in school. And I didn’t have much time or money to do things.
Submitted June 30, 2020 at 06:52PM by alva_june https://ift.tt/2NPCncF
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