*UPDATE* I am in disbelief and can't even to begin to process my BF's request and I don't know where to go from here.

Original post [here] ( https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/gww5rk/i_am_in_disbelief_and_cant_even_begin_to_process/ )

So things are over. He [28M] told me[25F] he has to be alone to figure out himself again. I asked to see him, and he said it would make things 10000x more difficult. I don't know if I'll ever be able to see him again. He doesn't want me waiting, and he wants me to move on and find someone else and have the family that I deserve and that will make me happy. He said he never sees himself getting married or having kids, after we've talked about it so many times.

I hope he gets help, because he said he still feels like he is in a dark place. I don’t think he is thinking of hurting himself, but I am still concerned about his well being. He said I can call or text him whenever I want, and we plan on checking in next Friday. I don’t know how many more times we’ll talk after that, because I know I wont be able to heal if he is still a text away.

I'm still in disbelief and I have cried over this more than anything else in my life. This is my 3rd serious relationship and when the other 2 ended, I was crushed but I knew in my heart it was right. This feels so wrong in every way. I can't eat and I think I've lost around 10 pounds this week. I know it's not healthy but I physically can't bring myself to take more than a few bites of something. I feel like I am going to pass out almost every time I stand up. I know this isn't healthy, but I am so broken right now.

I have so many things of his and memories and every time I try to want to push them out of my life, I cry. Every time I try to hold on, I cry even more. I feel like someone has died. I feel like part of my soul isn't there anymore. I can't let go and I can't hold on. My world is spinning and I have so many mixed feelings. I want to be able to let go but at the same time I don't want to lose all of those memories we've made, even though they are only painful now. He was my everything and he used to tell me the same. I truly believed were were meant to be.

I'm sorry this might have turned into me venting, but I am so broken right now. Thinking about moving on just brings more pain because I just don't want to, I don't want to imagine a life without him, but this is what he wants and I can't change his mind.

I know he has reddit, so if you see this, hun, I'm sorry. I guess I am just trying my best to make sense of this all. I wish I was strong enough to drop everything and move on, but I can't.

Anyways, thank you guys for all your thoughts, prayers, and kind words.

TLDR: We are over and I am so, so broken.

Submitted June 05, 2020 at 04:49PM by savebanditt https://ift.tt/30cN2Wo