Obligatory throw-away account because I use my main account for subreddits related to my profession.
Some background information about myself (26F): I am well educated, have a fulfilling job in scientific research, am conventionally attractive, have a good relationship with my family, like to be semi-social (apx. 2x month), and functional well independently (ex: when I have lived in cities, I would regularly go out to eat by myself and had no qualms with dining alone in public). However, those close to me regularly refer to me as "grandma". I like to spend my time at home crocheting, reading, cooking/baking etc. I go to bed at 10:00 most nights. I don't like to take risks, I have a checklist for everything and am rarely spontaneous. To be honest, I am in such a routine, that I am even bored of myself.
The reason I'm making this post now is because my current boyfriend (27M) of just over 2 years and I had a candid conversation last night about our relationship expectations and longterm compatibility following a phone call he had with his mom. Throughout our relationship, I have not formed a good relationship with his parents which I attributed to us living in different cities and them being especially protective of the youngest child. In this phone call, she questioned our compatibility because I am "boring" and come from a different family background from him (they have old money which has allowed everyone to have very successful careers in business and medicine whereas my family are middle class and my sister and I are the first to have college educations). My boyfriend was very open with me about his feelings that we are a great match on paper, but this conversation with his mom was worrisome because he really respects her opinion. Maybe we don't have issues now because we're in end of the honeymoon phase, but this could be the root of future conflict.
This isn't the first time I've heard this. I have repeatedly been broken up with because, essentially, my partners grow bored of me and want date around. Every long-term relationship I've been in (approximately 4 in the last 10 years) has ended with me being blindsided by a break-up without any preceding conflict between us. Interestingly, they all have given me the same break-up speech of how great I am, that I haven't done anything wrong, but something is missing. Similarly, I've had an issue with forming and maintaining close friendships. I feel like I have many acquaintances who generally care about me, but I do not have a reliable inner-circle of likeminded individuals. Because of this pretty consistent pattern, it is clear that I am the problem in why these relationships are not becoming more meaningful. I am worried that my current relationship is on the same path as previous ones.
So reddit, how to I break my monotony and become a more interesting individual for those whom I have close relationships with? How would you describe the qualities that you find stimulating in a partner?
tl;dr: I am interested in advice on how to become less boring in order to be a more engaging partner in all of my relationships in order to find a deeper level of connection.
Submitted June 04, 2020 at 01:27PM by helpimboring1 https://ift.tt/2UaFBeB
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