Am I settling?

I (F26) have been with my boyfriend (M35) for almost 3 years.

Problems: 1. I dislike his whole family and they don't seem to care about me. We can't communicate since they speak two languages that I can't speak even though I try to learn and speak with them but they have zero interest. It wouldn't be such a big problem if they weren't such a big part of his life, but they are. 2. He is a hoarder and I am a minimalist. We are always fighting about it and I hate living in his house. It's almost impossible to find compromises. I told him I would try to replace the things we would throw out with nicer things, but no. 3. He has a parrot he bought before me. He bought it, put it in a cage and forgot about it. I have been the one trying to entertain the bird, teach it things and so on. I don't like the parrot because it screams for HIS attention all day and I am going crazy. He won't rehome him or find a solution. Parrots are life long commitments and the thought of living with this parrot for so many years makes me nauseous. There are some other minor issues, but those 3 things are the biggest problems and I don't know what to do. He is bad at communicating and very stubborn.

Good things: 1. He is (so far) loyal, honest and a good person. He has a very good heart. I am crying just typing this. 2. He also wants a family and get married and he is very good with kids. I am sure he will be a great father. 3. He is a hard worker and provider. 4. I love him. 5. I am not an easy person either and he is not giving up on me. I am a little controlling which he handles quite well.

I sometimes wonder if I am just settling since it is truly hard to find good men? "Atleast he is not cheating, following and liking girls, looking at other women, watching porn and so on" is something I tell myself whenever he seems to not give a shit about my needs and wishes.

TL;DR: I am not sure if this relationship is worth it or if I am just settling. Huge differences, hoarder/minimalist, dislike his family and his screaming parrot.

Submitted June 03, 2020 at 04:53AM by DaniEvaH https://ift.tt/3eJspFa