How to break up with partner? He (M24) has been emotionally abusive to me (F25) and have opportunity to end things but don't know how?

Hi guys,

I've never been in the position of needing to break up with someone.

It's been a really rough time for me and my partner, and we love eachother dearly but he has not treated me well for a long time.

I have had time away from him and have come to the decision that I just don't think things can change or get better and his family feel the same.

He knows he's on the verge of losing me and I know he is scared to lose me. He thinks that everything is going to be OK and I have purposely not said that directly, but that's how he feels about things. I do not want to hurt him despite how much I've been hurt too.

It breaks my heart to be doing this but I know it's the right thing.

I've written him a long letter to give him, to hopefully encourage him to take care of himself like he should do and to take the opportunity to love himself and heal, and to say and appreciate the love and times we've shared but that it's just not healthy for me anymore.

I've also planned some points about what to say as I will be seeing him tomorrow to end it, but he thinks I'm coming home.

Stuff like-

• how we have not been in a good place for a long time and love has kept us going but it's not enough anymore
• that despite the love, neither of us are getting what we feel we need from the relationship which makes us unhappy and causes arguments
• how deeply hurt I am and my trust has faded because of how I have been treated and that I feel very vulnerable and not sure I can overcome it all
• how although we argue and make up, we never actually resolve anything and it just crops up later as we're never able to compromise Etc

He has messaged about looking forward to me coming round and working things through and apologised, but it's too little too late. I'm just so worried if I've led him on and I just don't know how to handle it at all. I'd rather be dumped than do this.

How would you guys handle this? I am a very naturally kind and sensitive person so please consider that as I'm sure most people would tell him to eff off, but I just can't do that. I have to be kind otherwise it'll hurt me more.

TL;DR - have opportunity to leave emotionally abusive relationship but don't know how? Have written a letter and come up with points to say in person, but struggling. How to be kind in such a difficult situation?

Submitted May 01, 2020 at 09:06AM by ElasticCabbage https://ift.tt/2VThKBp