I've (30F) been dating a guy, let's call him Brian (34M), for 2 months. We really hit it off when we started dating. He always made jokes that he had a fetish for my race, and said he only ever made out with a woman of my race once and that dating me was a new experience for him. He's someone who makes me laugh and we both became very comfortable quickly into this relationship.
We don't follow each other on social media. I've deactivated my Facebook over a year ago, and my Instagram is private and very hidden.
So I got bored with all this free time now staying inside, and we haven't been talking as much because of social distancing, so I decided to reactivate my Facebook and look him up. Lo and behold, I find lots of activity in the past with more than one woman of my race, once of which definitely was a past girlfriend (~5 years ago). Unfortunately I start looking at the woman's Facebook profile (I know big mistake) and I start to connect things together. Besides the fact that he wasn't truthful with me about his past relationships, I suspect that [1] he's still friends with her and [2] he's been hanging out with her while we are dating (as friends or not I have no idea). I also made the connection about something he said about me, he said he liked that I have big cheeks and that I looked really distinctive, which I have never heard someone describe me as before (I don't think I have big cheeks). This girl has huge cheeks (to be clear, I'm not bashing her here, she's cute). I feel like he is projecting what he sees in her, on me.
I 100% regret going on social media because now I can't stop thinking about this. I worry that after looking at their profiles I've built up this narrative that he's not over his ex-girlfriend in my head, which might be true or untrue (yes I know, a guy can be friends with an ex!). I've come here asking [1] is this all in my head and my own insecurity, and [2] would it be ludicrous to break it off with him because of this?
TLDR I looked up the guy I'm dating of 2 months on social media and have concluded he has an fetish for my race which he denied at the beginning, he's had multiple past girlfriends of said race, and he's still hanging out with an ex (as friends or not idk). Am I overthinking this and creating a false narrative in my head, or are these sufficient red flags?
Submitted April 02, 2020 at 08:16PM by friendsdontlieeee https://ift.tt/2UWvp97
No comments:
Post a Comment