I [18F] am not my boyfriend's [20M] type. He says his feelings died because he wasn't attracted to me. He says it's back again but I don't know how to feel about it.

ThrowRA We're dating for 4 months now and I'm his first girlfriend. I'm short and dark with an average ass and big boobs and my boyfriend likes tall girls with huge butts. Now, I know these things don't matter in relationships, at least that's what I thought. 2 amazing weeks into the relationship, I saw his zeal slowly dying and in another 2 weeks, the spark was completely gone. I confronted him about it and he tells me he doesn't love me anymore because he's not attracted to me. It wasn't very long into the relationship but it broke me and it gave me several issues. I probably have body dysmorphia now. I cut myself. I stalk his ex-crushes on a daily basis and its taking a toll on my mental health. I used to consider myself above average at least, but after him I feel nothing. I offered him to break up at the moment but he denied and said he cannot live without my attention. Fast forward, we're here. He assures me his feelings are coming back and this standards have "changed" and he finds me attractive and hot and curvy and all that but I can't help but think that he's lying to make me feel better. Trust me, I've been trying but I'm just hurting. He makes efforts sometimes. He never complimented when I sent nudes and now he does but I can't stop investigating if they're fake. He's even cried while explaining and I believe him too but am I being too selfish for thinking about myself? I know I'll be happier with someone else but I love him and I don't want to leave him. What should I do?

TL;DR! Pretty much the title. Boyfriend wasn't attracted to me and he says now he is. I don't know what to believe.

Submitted April 02, 2020 at 12:26PM by throwaway851851 https://ift.tt/3bQ2Z7l