I’ve been in a relationship for 6 years with this guy but didn’t realize he had such bad addiction problems. First it was Vicodin, then harder muscle relaxers and for the past 2 years meth. He told me he thought meth was gross and was a drug he’d never try but his brother and friend do it and he started too. We live together but he can’t keep a job and does work from delivery apps because he can’t wake up at the same time for a regular job. I’ve grown to resent him and feel horrible that I’m not in love anymore. I’ve told him I work a full time job and take classes full time as well. I feel like if I can do these things he can at least have a normal job.
I’m about to be 27 and don’t want to be in my thirties and my youth was wasted waiting for someone to stop doing drugs and live a normal life. Sometimes I feel like he really loves me but other times I feel like he just got used to my company and that’s why we’ve stayed together.
He also won’t have sex with me anymore, maybe once a month if I’m lucky. And if we do have sex he won’t look at me. It’s killed my self esteem.
I just want a normal relationship with someone who will go to work. I’m tired of paying for everything and am getting depressed. Every few days I wait til I’m alone and cry. I lie to my family and friends and pretend like my relationship is fine when I’m so unhappy. I don’t like people feeling sorry for me. For the past few years he hasn’t gotten me anything for my birthday, valentines or Xmas. And when I get upset about it he just says it’s just another day and that he does other things for me and that I know he has no money. I’m not materialistic but I like the thought because I put in thought for people I care about when it’s their birthday or another holiday. We talked about marriage before but if he really wanted that he would try harder and get a job to make it happen.
I’ve been saving money and planning on leaving in a few months from northern Cali to so cal because I’ll be able to find a place I can afford on my own there. I don’t know when or how to tell him I’m leaving. We live together so if I tell him too soon it’ll be awkward seeing each other til I leave. I also don’t know if I should leave but give him the chance to be together again if he takes some time to improve himself and quit the drugs and drinking. I feel bad that I don’t have hope anymore he’ll get better. I’m just tired of being disappointed.
tl;dr my boyfriend is a drug addict and I want to leave to but don’t know how to tell him. We live together so it is hard and I don’t know if I should give him more chances. Should I give him a chance to improve himself after I move or just move in completely?
Submitted April 01, 2020 at 08:43PM by Vaalta93 https://ift.tt/2UC6zMY
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