Realised I (28F) have romantic feelings for a friend (29F) who's moving in with me for a week, not sure what to do

Feels a bit weird typing this out because I am a. incredibly repressed and b. living proof that denial isn't just a river in Egypt, but there you go. Basically, I've (28F) come to the realisation quite recently that I've had romantic feelings for a friend (29F) for the past 9 years or so, and it's a bit of a mind-bend. I did always know, if I'm honest about it, but I had a lot of internalised homophobia that I'm still working on, and it's only recently that I've come to terms with it.

I'm bi (but not currently very out about it, although I'm out to her and have been for years) and she's openly gay. Most of my friends are LGBTQ so I haven't just glommed onto the only other queer person I know and projected romantic feelings onto them, just to clarify that - it's definitely an actual crush, and it's been going on for a long time.

I'm not looking for advice on asking her out because I don't have any reason to expect that she feels the same way - I'm certain she doesn't. I'm fine with things as they are. I like having her in my life as a good friend. I don't want to make things weird or awkward. I haven't told any of our mutual friends as I'm worried it would get back to her.

The thing I want advice on really is what to do when she comes to stay. I don't really want her to know, but I'm worried she'll find out. I'm inclined not to tell her and just keep things as they are, if I can, but it feels a little dishonest, especially as she's going to be staying at my house for a week next month as her apartment is being redecorated. It's a bad time to come to the realisation and I don't want to act differently around her but I'm worried that I will. It feels like I'm living in a bad fanfiction!

Tl;dr feel like an idiot but realise I have some pretty strong romantic feelings for a friend who's coming to stay, not sure if I should just hope she doesn't find out or if telling her is the right thing to do.

Submitted January 26, 2020 at 10:26AM by tahmmmwtd https://ift.tt/2uy0Sow