TL;DR: Boyfriend was unresponsive for 12hrs while I had a health scare and I'm feeling a bit detached now
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Hi Reddit, apologies in advance for the incoming wall of text.
My boyfriend (Jay) and I are both 29 and have been dating for 2.5 years, living together for 8 months. For the holidays, I went abroad with my parents and Jay went to visit his folks in his home town.
On Christmas Day, in the foreign country where we were vacationing, I suddenly became very sick (vomiting and severe abdominal pain) and my parents ended up taking me to the local hospital to have me treated for dehydration and to run some diagnostic tests. The doctors diagnosed me with appendicitis and really pushed for me to have surgery right there and then, but my parents wanted a second opinion (tbh none of us really trusted the doctors there) and so we got on the earliest flight back home the very next day. I called Jay before my flight and afterwards kept him updated via text.
My parents and I went to our city's ER straight from the airport and we spent ~20hrs there while I went through a battery of tests. The appendicitis ended up being a misdiagnosis and what I actually had was just a really bad stomach virus.
Here’s the part I’m kind of pissed about - Jay didn’t respond to my texts for more than 12hrs while I was in the ER. I knew beforehand that he was going hunting with his friend that day, so I just assumed that he probably had no cell signal. But then I saw that he had posted some stuff on social media during that time, and it turns out he had cell signal the entire time and had in fact read my I'm-scared-and-waiting-in-the-ER texts but didn’t answer because he was busy with hunting logistics since they hadn’t mapped out the route/ spoken with the groundskeeper/ obtained the necessary paperwork beforehand and had to do it all last-minute. I called him a day after I got back from the ER and basically unloaded on him. I tried to be fair and not overly emotional but I was really hurt that he apparently didn't care enough to text me back while I was vulnerable and in pain. He apologized right away, said that he had “no good excuse” for not texting, that he just wasn’t thinking, etc. etc.
I know that we’ve technically “talked it out” and it’s not a big deal since I didn’t actually end up needing surgery and he has expressed how very sorry he is, but I’m having a hard time letting this go. We’re still physically apart with our respective families right now and I don’t feel like talking to him or texting him at all. I’ve been sporadically answering his texts and I sent him a new years text but mostly I just feel kind of meh like I don’t really care to hear from him or hear about how his day went. I think there’s still some resentment on my end and my way of coping with it is just straight up emotional detachment. Obviously this isn’t the healthiest way to handle things and I know that this small incident isn’t a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but I’m still having trouble moving on. Has anyone experienced something like this? How do I go about resolving this? Would love any insights/ advice on this situation.
Submitted January 01, 2020 at 05:29PM by ForThrowRA https://ift.tt/35jKlRD
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