So to summarize my previous post which can be found here: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/cvbxhx/girlfriend_talks_about_her_ex_and_im_starting_to/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
my girlfriend occasionally talks about her ex and I started getting bothered by recently.
Sorry ahead of time this is very long, I just need to vent it all out.
Well we went camping this weekend (1 week from her previous story time) and at some point we were talking about how we could plan out easy micro camping trips if we just packed light and planned to sleep in the car etc. She mentioned how she used to have a truck and she used to do something to that effect. She then kind of started talking about how she used to have sex in the back of her truck with her ex boyfriend and how one time they got caught and turned into this whole story. After she finished the story I kind of just went silent cuz I didn't really know how to continue I was a bit bothered by it just because I didn't really feel like talking about her previous sex life while we were on her own camping trip. As I mentioned in my previous post it's not the first time she talked about her ex but in all fairness I talked about my ex's occasionally too, we went through this period where we just kind of explored our prior relationships and all the crap that we did. ANYWAY I didn't think this was one of those times to just casually bring it up and got a bit bothered by it and all I could think about was her story for a while. So to change the subject in my own head I started asking her about the truck and what truck was it etc etc. Later on in the night we were talking about some random things, we ended up talking about really weird risky masturbation stories we've been in(weird topic I know but we were on our way to getting drunk), and I should've seen this coming, but she eventually started talking about her riskiest sex stories. It was unprompted but I suppose relevant which is why I feel dumb for feeling bad about it. Without going into too much detail here, she started telling stories about how she and her ex once had sex on a bed while her two friends were sleeping on the ground next to them, and another time where she and her boyfriend had sex at a dock right beneath where their friends were and no one was the wiser. There was more but you get the idea. She was saying how it was exciting and they never got caught and how it was just kind of hilarious and when their friends did find out later on, it was just amusing seeing their reaction. Anyway I got bummed out by that and I think I really didn't say much after that point. Part of me was annoyed that I let her keep talking about that for so long but she was really enjoying telling the story and tbh it was interesting to hear I guess but I admit I fucked up there.
Anyway she noticed i was off apparently, when we went to bed she asked me if anything was wrong and I said no, I didn't want to start a thing while we were on our vacation so I decided to just bring it up at a later date. But then unfortunately, me being the person I am, couldn't just not think about it and it got upset, and I thought about what one of you said the last time I posted and decided to just talk with her then. So I told her while we were in our tent about to fall asleep - something along the lines of "I know it was an important part of your life but I would prefer if you wouldn't just randomly bring up sex stories about you and your ex" etc etc. She totally understood that she said too much and that from my perspective that's kind of messed up for her to do, and that and she wouldn't bring it up again. But now I think the flood gate is open.
I think part of why I can't let it go is jealousy, there's been instances with me and her where we had a chance to have risky sex and she's turned it down. I totally get it and she has every right to not have sex if she doesn't want it. But now I'm hearing that she used to have way riskier sex and she was all for it. I know it's fucked up for me to think this way but what the heck. It bums me out and I'm hoping this is something that I get over because as it is right now I feel lesser? I don't know.
The other part is like why do I have to explain to her like hey maybe don't talk about how you and your ex used to have wild sex all the time, especially like on our vacation away. I know I can't bring this up with her because it's been resolved cuz I know it's like really shitty to get held up over this. And I do want to point out, even with all that she said, I never felt insecure in regards to her cheating on me or anything like that. I can confidently say that we're both pretty secure in our relationship. She said it herself when we talked about it later that night, that she wasnt bringing those stories up in a lustful or sexual way but purely as just stories. I'll admit they're amusing and kinda hot but I just wish I didn't have to know about them. I really do love her to death but there are times where I feel like she's really inconsiderate and says shit or does shit before thinking about it.
Anyway I don't know what I'm expecting to get out of posting about this here but I really needed to just let this out. But as always any advice on the matter would be appreciated.
Tl;dr - I love my gf but I'm mad at her cuz she went on a story telling spree about the wild sex she and her ex used to have two weeks in a row. I spoke to her about it and promised to not do it again I still feel unresolved personally.
Update: lotta responses I really appreciate it guys. I may have been a bit too in my own head when I first wrote this post. I'll regurgitate what I mentioned in a comment below but basically I like low key forgot that we actually do have a fair amount of "risky sex" in our own relationship. Are there instances where we could've fucked around, sure. But generally speaking we keep things pretty interesting. I think I made this whole situation a bit too much about me, because we are very open in what we talk about with each other. We have talked about our exes before so I get why she wouldn't initially think to not bring it up because there hasn't been a precedent for it. But my issue was that she had been bringing stories of him up very frequently lately which bothered me and she totally understood why I didn't like it. That being said she immediately course corrected as soon as I told her I wasn't cool with it. So it's just a matter of me not being so bothered by it.
Submitted September 02, 2019 at 03:39PM by SpareTimeNecessity https://ift.tt/2HFYZKa
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