I've been with my wife for 6 years now, married for almost 1. I'll love her no matter what, but know she hasn't always been the cleanliest or most organized person. We now have our first kid on the way, and her and others always joke that now I'll have to do everything for her, but in my mind I feel like I already do and that it's honestly unfair. I can be very passive aggressive sometimes, and I don't always say exactly how I feel. A dirty kitchen, or clothes all over the bedroom floor or bathroom floor irks me a great deal. She eventually cleans up her clothes, but it can take weeks and then she washes them and then takes another two weeks to get them all put away. Typically I always end up cleaning the kitchen, only for it to become a mess the same day or the next.
Essentially, I'll do whatever I can to make my wife happy, but her being so messy can become very stressful and annoying to me. She knows this. It's why every time I ask her to clean something, she either a) breaks down and cries and says she hates that she's so messy/lazy or b) becomes angry because she automatically thinks I'm mad at her. I'm forced to console her and tell her I don't hate her at all. Let me be clear, I in no way ask her in a passive aggressive way despite what I mentioned earlier. I try to ask her jokingly and in the kindest way possible, or she'll ask me to do something and I'll try to make it a trade and say "sure if you'll do x or y haha".
Is there any better way to approach the situation? I love her, but what am I supposed to do when it becomes stressful and makes me become mad at her in my mind.
Note: she has always been like this. It's not from being pregnant (shes only about 8 weeks along). Note 2: she has way too many clothes and shoes and mugs. But asking her to get rid of some is the same thing as asking her to clean.
tl;dr My wife is messy and asking her to clean makes her cry/get upset so I try not to ask her often, but at the same time it stresses me out and annoys me. I need help.
Submitted September 02, 2019 at 03:18PM by sucadiq https://ift.tt/2LeXZyM
No comments:
Post a Comment