We've been married 4 years. He has a lot of issues including being on the autism scale, low tolerance for any frustration and ADHD, so I try to be patient.
He will get angry with me over something (often due to his inability to tolerate any frustration, or due to a misunderstanding, etc). If I say anything that makes him even more irritated, he gets angry and calls me names. For example, today he said he was pissed off about something his brother had said (although I didn't know what was said).
Husband: He just pissed me off with what he said.
Me: What did he say?
Husband: Nevermind. If you didn't hear it, I don't want to get into it.
Me: But I was standing there the whole time and I heard everything. I don't recall anything that would upset you.
Husband: (snarling) That's because you're an idiot.
I walked away. Later I realized what was said that upset him, but it was so minor (to me) that it didn't even register as anything he would be upset by. Either way, I don't like him calling me names for no reason. He then will apologize ("I'm sorry. I was completely in the wrong.") I realize he has a very hard time with anger management, and I usually just tell him it's fine. But it's not. I'm really sick of it.
Do other couples deal with this? Giving him an ultimatum ("every time you call me names I'm ending the conversation") doesn't do much because he will still call me names every single time he becomes upset. Which is several times a week. I'm just trying to gauge how serious this is. My cousin told me she would leave her boyfriend if he ever called her a name. That's so foreign to me since my husband regularly acts this way.
tldr: husband regularly gets really frustrated/irritated and will call me names.
Submitted September 23, 2019 at 03:53PM by angela2lo https://ift.tt/2mLVYjL
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