Please bear with me as this is my first reddit post.
My husband [25M] and I [24F] have been together for 5 years and married for 3. About a year and a half ago while visiting his family, I saw he had a Snapchat from a girl that I didn't recognize. I don't want to invade other's privacy, but I'm also not one to just ignore things that seem off. I looked to see what the contents were and the message mentioned wondering why he was using snapchat to talk to her and if it was to hide it from his wife (me). I confronted him about it and a fight ensued. It ended with my mother coming to get me and us going to marriage counseling. We came to an agreement that he could talk to his female friends, but that I'd like to know about them so that it doesn't take me by surprise.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago. Things have been wonderful and we are trying to start a family. After doing some yard work I bring our things inside while he puts the tools away. Call me insecure, call me crazy. I'm sure I'm both. But I unlock his phone and the snapchat app is already opened. I swipe to see who he's been talking to and there are more girls who I don't recognize, along with friends and coworkers (male and female) that I do know. This puts me on guard because I instantly think back to the fishy conversations from before - especially because the girl from before has reappeared. I say nothing to him because whenever I mention something like that he instantly gets defensive and angry. I've always written it off that I've offended him.
My nerves have been on edge since then and I have peeked at his phone a few more times. The conversations I had seen are now deleted - while other conversations from 7+ months ago remain. It leaves me to think he is hiding them from me and not just cleaning out his chat history. I also noticed he had turned off his notifications for the app. I haven't been able to explain why that would be beneficial unless he was trying to hide who he was talking to and when. I have also noticed him carrying his phone with him everywhere. To go to the kitchen for a drink, to the bathroom, in the shower, and when he takes a nap he keeps it under the blanket with him and out of sight.
I have spoken to my sister who is going through her own divorce right now because of a cheating husband and she agrees with me that something seems off about the situation. I am afraid to go to many of our other friends for their thoughts because it might change the way they see him if I end up just being paranoid, so I thought I could turn to the ever honest anonymous internet.
I have also not talked to him yet because I'm afraid if I am right and confront him before I have proof, that I never will get any. He is very tech savvy and I am not so I have no idea what more he could be doing to cover his tracks.
I do not want him to be guilty and I would love to hear that there are other reasons to seem so secretive.
TL;DR I think my husband is using snapchat to talk to other girls, but I have no proof either way. He seems to be acting fishy. Or am I just being paranoid?
Submitted August 31, 2019 at 01:04PM by RagingJazzHands https://ift.tt/2MNwezi
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