Hi all,
Throwaway account.
I'm really just wondering if anyone out there has experience with how to salvage a marriage, or if ita even possible. My husband and I have been married for 3 years now and it was rough at first, but in the last year its gotten really bad. I quit my job to move cross country with him and it's been a massive fight since then to let me get a job. Sometimes it gets physical. So, I tried to go to school. Again, fight every time I tried to get space to do my homework. He'd sit behind my computer while I was trying to do assignments just repeating how he didnt want to be apart, sometimes even just shutting my laptop in the middle of work or exams. These particular times, I tried locking myself in the bathroom to finish, but had bang on the door or would bang his head into the hardwood floor until I came out or relented to him coming in. Needless to say, I had to drop the program.
It got to a point where I'd go to work with him to sit in the parking garage while he was on shift for 9 hours sometimes in 20 degree temperatures. This sounds crazy typing it out now. And honestly it's hard to say how it got to this point, its feels like things have progressed little by little. If I wanted to stay home, it'd be yelling and physicality and then blame about how hes going to lose his job if he doesnt get to work but refusing to leave without me.
He ended up losing his job anyway and didnt look for work for 8 months because he didnt want to be apart. He burned through my savings in this time, so I dont have funds saved up to leave. He also ended up having to file for bankruptcy shortly after.
About a year ago, he got a work from home job and, again, its fighting every time I try to leave the room. I dont like conflict at all and honestly it's so overwhelming to deal with the restraints all the time, but the other end of that is constant yelling and physical fights. Hes pushed my head into pillows and the mattress until I've passed out once. My arms have been covered in bruises. One of the things he does most often is push on the gas while we're driving and slam on the brakes. I've gotten seatbelts burn a couple times.
I've tried leaving a few times. The first time, I tried running on foot and he was able to catch up and threw me back into the apartment. The second, I tried driving away and he jumped on the car and banged on the windshield and windows while on it until I got out. I didnt want to hurt him by driving off. Third time was similar.
I think I broke in March when he had his way with me even though I blatantly told him that he didnt have my consent for the 6th time in our marriage.
In April I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. Its progressively getting worse. I dont know if stress has anything to do with it.
I know I'm not perfect either. I've yelled at him more than a few times and have gotten really angry. My mental health has deteriorated and I feel like I don't meet his needs anymore and I'm being a really crap wife.
I'm sorry this is so scattered. I feel so lost and dont know how I got here. I've told my mom, after a lot of back and forth within myself, and she said everyone has troubles in their marriages and I have to make this work.
Tldr; My husband and I have had a pretty turbulent marriage and I'm just wondering if it's possible for a marriage to be saved.
Submitted September 01, 2019 at 07:35AM by dkwtd0716 https://ift.tt/2zI7uQy
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