I (23M) just graduated from college in May and am living 40 minutes away from campus in my hometown.
In my junior year, I befriended this girl (21F) who would eventually go on to succeed me in one of my campus leadership roles when I graduated. Since then we’ve gotten closer and I often get calls every other day for advice and context about the work I did. For the longest time, people suspected us being together and we both shot the comments down; we’re both really different and weren’t really interested in even really considering each other. Regardless, we both talk to each other a lot whether it’s something personal or professional.
Two weeks back she awkwardly texted me and asked me on a date. I was surprised and after some consultation with a mutual friend decided why not. She then jealously asked me if I was into one of my female friends who she doesn’t like. After I admitted I wasn’t and that I viewed this other friend as a little sister, we planned a date in the next few days.
We had a nice date and we both were pretty normal. I slept over her apartment but she’s isn’t the type to hook up with people unless things get relatively more serious so nothing happened. We both ended up watching a movie and passing out on the couch.
With everyone moving back to school and a lot going on on-campus, I didn’t hear much from her and decided to check in. Everything seemed fine so I decided to come up and visit. Our mutual (25M) friend and I decided to visit friends on campus (including her) and go to a party. We both end up staying at her apartment. Over the course of the night I had found out that she had told a few other mutual friends that she “had feelings for me” and “wanted to date me.” I slept in her bed next to her but she kind of isolated herself to the side (as she always has when I’ve slept over) and nothing happened.
The next morning our mutual friend asked us jokingly why “we didn’t cuddle” and she was like “I was tired and just wanted to sleep and I’m not really into cuddling”
I was talking to her today and she mentioned talking to one of my “enemies” from college. I kinda headed student government and this guy and I would butt heads. I left school resenting him because he thought he was better than me and in my last semester wanted to make my life difficult. She knows all of this.
I asked her if she knew whether he was still dating his girlfriend. All of a sudden she flipped out and started asking how I knew he was in a relationship. Well I find out that she slept with him recently and she had no idea that he may have been in a relationship.
After getting off the phone with her I got ticked off because I felt beguiled. I see so many mixed signals. The girl who never sleeps with anybody when not in a relationship decides to sleep with one of the few people I hate after being very forward and trying to date me. In the end of the day she can sleep with whoever she wants and I know I don’t have the right to anything. If this was somebody I barely knew I would’ve stopped talking to her. I just feel so wronged after she changed the dynamic of our friendship and pulled me in deeper only to have my emotions toyed with.
Should I stop talking to her? Do I have a right to be upset on some level? Any other pieces of advice would be appreciated.
TL;DR - Close friend who asked me on a date ended up sleeping with my college nemesis after conveying feelings for me.
Submitted August 31, 2019 at 11:58AM by zeusinretirement https://ift.tt/2MPZW6X
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