My dad [48M] won't work, and I'm worried about what that will mean for me [26F] and my sister [22F] in the future.

Thank you all advance for any advice you can offer here. I'll try not to make this too long.

For some background, my parents divorced when I was 6. I was no contact with my dad from age 13 to age 19 for various shitty reasons. My grandfather died when I was 19 and my sister and I reconciled with our dad around that time and my dad has been living with my grandma ever since to take care of her.

My grandpa owned a successful small construction business that my dad inherited when I was a baby. My grandparents were older when my dad was born so they retired when I was very young. When my grandpa died, my dad ran the business into the ground. It is gone and has been for many years. Since then, he has been jobless and living off of my grandmother's social security.

I am a college graduate and work full time. My husband and I bought a house last year and are planning to have children in the near future. My sister is currently in nursing school and will graduate next year. We both have a lot of loan debt as well as just trying to start our lives.

Our dad won't work. He is rotting away in his recliner at home because right now he has my grandma's money. He has no health insurance, he has no savings, he has nothing.

I love my dad very much despite his shortcomings, but my sister and I are very worried about him and what this might mean for our future as his children. He is only 48, and he has high blood pressure (so do I, it's shitty genetics), but he uses his as an excuse to not work. He acts like he's 90 and ailing and can't work. He complains about feeling bad all the time but all he does is sit in his chair and occasionally he'll go skeet shooting with his friends, he doesn't exercise. He does eat relatively healthy, but it's not enough. He's wasting his life away.

Eventually my grandma will die, and then what? Without any income or any job history in almost 10 years, what will he do? The house will be left to me and my sister, so he can continue to live there, but what about food? Or keeping the lights on? What happens as he ages, or he allows his health to decline to a state where he can no longer do for himself? There is nothing put away to help us care for him. And he. Won't. Work.

Every other week he asks me to help him find health insurance. I don't want to enable him further, so I have told him countless times that he should consider getting a job at Lowe's or Home Depot because he knows his stuff and he could earn some income as well as some benefits. He won't hear it.

All in all, my sister and I are worried that our dad's lack of motivation to work is going to hinder our lives in the possibly near future. My grandmother is in good health, but she's 84. It would be very different if our dad was sick or disabled, but he's not. He's just lazy and unwilling. He is mooching off of our grandmother, who worked into her 50s and retired and deserves to spend her own money.

Is there a conversation that needs to be had here? Should we sit him down and figure out what his plan is? And if he doesn't have one, tell him he needs to get one together? Show him some tough love?

tl;dr My dad won't work and is living off of my grandmother's social security, but she will eventually die and he will have no income or savings.

Submitted February 25, 2019 at 10:27AM by seaoats https://ift.tt/2VdhgTo