I have a great relationship with my boyfriend and I’m very happy with him. However, he has a female friend that texts him every day and insists on regularly having complete alone time with him even though she sees him for game night once a week. I’ve been told by her friend that she used to have feelings for him. She was very upset when we first started dating, getting mad at him for spending time with me and being rude to me. I told him I was uncomfortable, but he didn’t see it; he said she’s lost male friends to their gf’s in the past so she was sensitive. So I just hoped she would eventually realize I’m not here to take away his friends.
A year later, nothing has changed. She recently texted my bf after I mentioned to her and a mutual friend my plans with him (she framed it as being concerned about me giving up my career to be with him, but that’s not true) and I felt that really crossed a line, so I told him and he agreed. But he said he would talk to her “next time she says something like that.” I mentioned the other issues, but he doesn’t think daily texting or requiring frequent alone time is abnormal. It felt unresolved so I mentioned it a week later and got a similar result. He said he could just stop talking to her but she won’t get the hint and I said no because I don’t want to dictate who he’s friends with. He also said he doesn’t want to talk to her about this because he’d have to deal with her being mad at him for days. So he said to either let him do things “in his own time” or I can talk to her. But I think me talking to her will only add fuel to the fire.
I’m at a loss here. I completely trust my boyfriend, but I‘m uncomfortable with her basically using him as her emotional boyfriend (especially because she has a long-term bf). I feel like she’s acting inappropriately and my bf either can’t understand my feelings or thinks they’re unfounded. He doesn’t want to talk to her about it and didn’t accept my suggestion to limit texting and alone time with her (he said he already doesn’t text back much of the time). I can’t keep having this conversation with the same results, but I don’t want her to be crossing lines like this. Am I being unreasonable? And if not, how do I get through to him?
TLDR: Boyfriend has a female friend that constantly texts him and wants alone time with him. I have no worries about him cheating, but I feel like she’s overstepping boundaries and emotionally cheating on her own bf with mine. Help!
Submitted February 24, 2019 at 06:06PM by nightviolets https://ift.tt/2txLFQG
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