Boyfriend [M23] is financially unstable, I [F22] am unsure if this relationship is something I would like to remain committed to.

My boyfriend [M23] and I [F22] have been dating for abou two months officially, although we have a history together. I'm not sure if this information is relevant to this post but we dated May-September of last year and he ended things. At the end of October we tried dating again, lasted two weeks and eventually he decided to end things again. Come the new year, he was now sure that he wanted to have me in his life and we have been dating since.

Before I met him last year he got a DUI, lost his license and was kicked out of his parents home. He rents a room from one of his coworkers and still drives his car despite having a suspended license. He had a second job working nights at a bar but was eventually fired for being caught doing coke in the restroom by his boss on shift. He has always struggled with money since I have known him and since parting ways with his second job he is always strapped for enough money to cover basic expenses, let alone his court fees, license reinstatement, car insurance, etc.

He has opened up to me about his struggles including:

• Paying rent to his landlord in small increments, if at all.

• Asking to borrow money from his boss to pay for court fees, big expenses, etc.

• His bank threatening shutting down his account for being over drafted every two weeks

• Stealing basic necessities from stores to get things for free (clothes, food, alcohol)

• Work being slow because he does an outdoor, hard labor job and it is weather-dependent

At this point, his financial struggles are putting stress on his shoulders and as you might imagine, this puts a strain on our relationship. I find myself driving us everywhere, paying for our meals (both home cooked and eating out) and he stays at my place majority out of the week (he showers and does laundry here). I have become a provider to him in a way that I am not comfortable with and cannot sustain. I work two jobs and go to school part time, I make just enough money to provide for myself and myself only.

The emotional, mental and physical aspect of our relationship has suffered from financial stress. He is constantly in distress and always needs emotional nurturing. I am happy and willing to support, although he views his struggle as something "happening to him" and not something he can fix. We have very different viewpoints about financial responsibility and sharing my strategies/insight or offering informational resources about financial health is getting exhausting - mostly because he isnt receptive to it. I am becoming less attracted to him as a person because it feels like he always needs something from me... I cant quite pinpoint this one but I am very aware of its existence.

To get to the point, I am considering ending the relationship or cutting him out of my life until he takes charge of his own financial responsibilities. Is it vain to consider this in a young and otherwise loving relationship? Should I continue to support him mentally, emotionally, physically? This is my first serious relationship and I dont want to let go of the potential. We have already broken up twice and if I end things, I would feel like I have failed a third time.

Please let me know if there is any more information I can provide for my situation. Any experience/input is appreciated!

TL;DR My boyfriend struggles financially and it is taking a toll on our relationship and putting myself in an endless position of "providing". Is this relationship worth staying in?

Submitted February 25, 2019 at 11:04AM by seedsandpeels https://ift.tt/2BTszsH