Me [23 F] with my conservative parents [56,54 M,F], I recently came out as transgender (male to female) and my parents want me to see a notoriously anti-LGBTQ doctor for a second opinion

So, some quick background:

I'm 23 years old, in college, and I live with my family. I just passed my 3 month anniversary of beginning HRT a few days ago. I was hoping things would pass quietly; I came out to my very conservative, very Christian parents in a therapy session a few weeks prior and hadn't heard anything from them since then. Okay.

Earlier this evening, they sat down with me over dinner and expressed their concern that I haven't done enough "research" or considered all of my options before jumping into transition. While I strongly disagree with their assessment of the situation, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to alleviate their fears and hopefully get them on my side.

They want a second opinion from a psychiatrist or other "actual doctor" (as opposed to my therapist). Fair enough. I asked if they had anyone in mind, expecting them to name a psychiatrist from one of the local hospitals, a university, or (at worst) a doctor from their church sympathetic to their beliefs. But no. They named someone different.

Paul McHugh.

PAUL. FUCKING. MCHUGH.

As in the Paul McHugh who infamously shut down all transgender treatment at Johns Hopkins and has been a favorite sockpuppet of the right wing for decades since. His views are completely at odds with the American Medical Association, the American Psychiatric Association, the American Psychological Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American College of Endocrinology, the World Health Organization... I could go on.

I'm open to meeting with skeptics, doctors who think perhaps more study is needed in the area of transgender medicine. Skepticism is a reasonable and necessary part of good science. This man is no skeptic. His criticism has repeatedly crossed from scientific dissent into reactionary bigotry.

And they've already talked to him.

He wants to talk to me.

Me. Just plain Phoebe. A lost, scared girl who just wants to live her life happily and in obscurity.

They mentioned that I'm a pre-med student, and apparently he wants to know more about my studies and my plans for the future. Or so they say. Normally, I'd be thrilled that a professor from one of the most prestigious medical schools on planet Earth wants to meet me, but I don't know about this. What can I honestly believe this will accomplish?

At best, I figure I can go talk with him, pick his brain, and see what comes of it. Then, I can go meet with Dr. Paula Neira (the head of the newly-reopened transgender center and a trans woman herself) to get her thoughts. I value her opinion more anyhow.

I'm just... at a loss here. My parents want me to travel halfway across the country to Baltimore to meet LGBTQ public enemy number one. I plan on discussing this with my therapist, the general practitioner who oversees my HRT, my academic adviser, and a few other trusted sources, but I wanted to know if any of you have advice. This is pretty out there. What do I do?

tl;dr: I came out to my conservative parents recently and now they want me to travel from Iowa to Maryland to meet with the most notoriously anti-LGBTQ doctor in America for a second opinion. I'm freaking out. What the actual fuck do I do?

Submitted October 26, 2018 at 11:16PM by CrossfireInvader https://ift.tt/2qf4hmG