I (late20sF) don't want to lend legitimacy to a girl (early20sF) who still has a crush on my husband (late20sM)

There's a few people at play here:
-My good friend "Ellie" from college who originally introduced me and my husband
-My husband "Travis" who was a close friend before we dated. We tied the knot last month after a year together.
-A girl named "Andrea" who we all met through mutual friends. She's 6+ years younger than our friend group.

Before Travis and I started dating officially, we'd both gotten out of long relationships and were not looking for commitment, which we were both clear about. One person Travis was seeing casually was Andrea, a friend of a friend who was home from college for the summer. When she went back to school in the fall and they stopped seeing each other, she took it really poorly.

I have a suspicion she might have been overly reading into their interactions and hoping he had some secret motives or feelings and that he didn't really mean it about not wanting to be serious and that he would eventually come around.

A year later, when Travis and I got married, Andrea saw the pictures on social media that Ellie posted (they still keep in touch), and commented something like "oh wow, I really didn't need to see that."She sent me a DM saying that Travis was the first person she had truly loved. Against my better judgement, I wrote her back, and asked her if she wanted to talk more about anything. She responded that she didn't want to talk, but that suffice it to say that there were things about her time spent with Travis that I would never know or understand and that she would never tell me. ***dramatic***

I just find her whole reaction to be completely out of proportion. I realize that her age is a factor, and that if she hasn't had a lot of experience romantically, everything is going to seem much more important and world ending. At the same time, she was 20, not 15, and the extent of their friendship/fling was very minimal. They saw each other less than a dozen times total and over the course of only 2 or 3 months.

To complicate the situation, though, Andrea has now graduated college, and moved back home with her parents, so she sometimes comes out to parties or shows. Whenever we see her at parties, Ellie tries to delicately point her out to me and tries to gently guide me out of the room. I don't like this reaction and I don't think there's any reason for it. Ellie believes I'm jealous of Andrea, and that seeing her will upset me. I don't like this reaction because it implies that Andrea poses some kind of threat to my relationship. I want to be able to put this other person's jealousy out of my mind. It's not my problem to deal with, and has gone on for much longer than makes sense. I don't want to continue to give it legitimacy by continuing to address it.

TL;DR
In the early part of our relationship, my husband and I casually dated multiple people. One of the people he used to see became much too attached to him, and now a year and a half later is still inciting drama. My best friend thinks it would be funny to see a catfight between us, but it's been more than a year, I'm married now, and the time for that is way past. I don't like the implication that I should still feel jealous or take her as a serious threat. How do I explain that frame of mind to my best friend, be a bigger person, keep peace, and get somebody else's jealousy and stress out of my life? Too many requests? Please advise.

Submitted October 27, 2018 at 07:43AM by burd_is_wurd https://ift.tt/2qfhcFd