I [24M] left band composed of me and two best friends [24M] due to inactivity. My departure inspires them to get active again! wtf

Hey guys. I play drums, have done for ten years, and for four years I was in a fun decently successful band with two of my best friends. One of the best experiences of my life! Initially we were very active, we released ten songs in two years, we played local shows regularly, at least once or twice a month. We won a battle of the bands at our peak.

However in my final year with the band we went through a period of trying to change our sound, we tried two new band members and neither worked out. The second one told us he didn't want to be part of a band entirely run by our singer/guitarist. We were trying to write different songs, this proved more difficult and after over a year of time and effort we had nothing to show for it but the basics of two songs.

Finally, after spending three hours in the practice room and playing no songs due to our guitarist/vocalist playing with a new pedal, I said to them we were growing complacent and that I was really tired of it. Ultimately they ridiculed me and told me to man up/stop crying. This made me very angry so I told them I was done and left. That was in February.

We didn't speak for weeks, they removed all remenants of me on the band social media page but ultimately we remained friends. They started recording a new EP within a month of this happening. They were using computerized drums to record their new songs, they couldn't replace my original track completely so they asked my if I could come in and help them polish it off.

Having seen them pull their act together, finish the songs and finally start recording them I told them - "Yeah man i'd be happy to do the drums for you" When I got there, our front man even told me it would have been far easier if I had been there to record these tracks from the start. I finished the tracks, and I told him to hit me up anytime he needs drums done and we can get the ball rolling again.

He never asked me to come record anything else with them, and so I asked him, "yo man I thought yous were looking an ongoing hand with these drums? I told you i'd be happy to continue making music with yous" and he told me ultimately I would just slow them down, so they will be continuing on as a two man band.

This made me angry again, as when I had originally came in to track those drums I was told they were struggling on drums and it had been implied that they were looking regular help. Now I feel like they just wanted me to come polish off their (poor) drum track and then toss me again, and in order to get me to do this they led me on to believe they wanted me back in. Am I being unreasonable/paranoid/crazy here?

That was grim, but i'll accept it ultimately as it was my decision to leave. I will choose to ignore these guys and get over it.

Now, weeks later, the frontman is messaging me again asking me for recording I have of a song we wrote, about a near death experience I had.

We wrote this song together, but ultimately it's about something that happened to me. I feel a sense of ownership over it and after before I don't really want to give them this. I did them a favour before and they told me i'd slow them down! Should I tell him this?

This situation really aggrivates me, because I know if I had never left these guys that they would not have received the mental kick-up-the-ass to start recording again. I do miss these guys a lot, but these last few weeks have convinced me not to look back I think.

What do you think /r/relationships? Am I an idiot for leaving? Am I better off? Should I give them the song? Should I explain to them everything i've explained to you about how I feel? Should I just completely forget about this and get a new band? Anyone have any similar experiences?

THANK YOU :)

TL;DR: I leave band due to not much getting done and other issues. Issues get fixed, stuff started getting done. Band asks me for help on new stuff, I say yes and provide help. I tell band I miss them and if they need ongoing help i'll give them it. They then tell me I will only slow them down. Feels bad man. Now they want more help. I don't want to give them any more help.

Submitted September 30, 2018 at 09:59PM by Edgyman520 https://ift.tt/2Itohu1