My (25F) boyfriend (27M) mother (47F) is always picking on me and blaming me for everything he does. Wondering if I should consider leaving as it may get worse long term?

My (25F) boyfriends (27M) mother (47M) makes fun of me, my hair, etc. and I just am wondering if I should have a place in this family. Wondering if it’s worth getting upset over?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for years now. And his mother has been a general issue in our relationship. She’s the type that cannot let go of her son. He just moved out, she blamed me for him moving out and said I should have stopped him. If he doesn’t dress “fancy”, that’s my fault too and it’s my fault for not forcing him to buy himself luxury clothes. He’s inside all day? My fault for not forcing him outdoors. He’s outside too much? My fault for not forcing him indoors. He’s not eating breakfast because he prefers to wait for lunch? My fault.

He’s a 27 year old man. He’s gonna do what he wants!

Apparently I’m also too “plain” and “simple.” Every time we all go out she tells me my hair looks bad, my makeup isn’t enough, my dress is plain, I’m not doing enough. Basically no matter what, she’s always telling me I’m not enough.

I stand up for myself but she keeps going and going. The thing is, my bf’s sister joins his mom in this behaviour. Called me an embarrassment for not having him marry me yet. When they have an “issue” with my boyfriend AKA their son/brother they blame me. They are very judgemental in general. They are not happy people. They act like the modesty police.

I tell my boyfriend how I feel but I get the “yeah that sucks but that’s how they are.”

Now, I’m starting to wonder if this could escalate and it’s worth potentially ending the relationship over. Do I want to have kids and family ties with someone who’s like this? Should I wait to see how the dynamic changes now that he has moved out first? If you have experience with rough MIL’s I’d love your input.

But I’m not sure if I’m overreacting or if I’m just not thinking enougj about it. It’s been like this for 4 years and I don’t see it getting better. This is who they are. And people don’t change.

TL;DR

My bf’s mom is blaming for everything he does including not dressing fancy to moving out. She also picks on me and says my hair looks bad, I’m not doing enough and insinuates I’m just not enough because I don’t force my bf to do what she wants and I don’t act super fancy/expensive. I have spoke to him about this and he’s kinda whatever about it but I’m wondering if a MIL like this could get worse in the long term and if I should consider leaving.

Submitted April 04, 2023 at 09:34PM by ilikegardenias https://ift.tt/oNMH7vB