My (27F) partner (28M) of 7 years are likely breaking up. I am 8 months pregnant with baby number 3.

My (27F) partner (28M) of 7 years are likely breaking up. I am 8 months pregnant with baby number 3.

TL;DR: I am currently pregnant with baby number 3 and my partner believes he has fallen out of love with me and wants to separate, and says I deserve better. But I have been invalidating his feelings towards me for sometime now and making him feel as though he hasn’t been enough for his family. But I’m wrong and I’ve only been lashing out at him from fear of having 3 kids under 3. I want to save our relationship.

I (27F) have been together with my partner (28M) for nearly 7 years, engaged for 4. After we got engaged we bought our first home and a year later fell pregnant with our son who is almost 3. And then had a second son who is 16 months. And by surprise I fell pregnant again and am now currently 8 months pregnant.
Lately I have been overwhelmed with the thought of having 3 under 3 that I have been nesting like crazy since January hit. And I have been desiring so much more attention from my partner, i have planned multiple days together for us to have all while he’s been working long stressful hours and ignored his need for personal time. I’ve been trying to force him to help me with these big projects of mine while he has his own that he wants to do. But I felt they weren’t as important. He holds a high position in retail that causes him to work long hours at times and is often working from home after his long days. His stress level has been at an ultimate high.
Since having our first child, he was receiving promotion after promotion. He’s had a new title every year it seems. And we sold our first house after just two years to move closer to his new work. We found a beautiful home. And now he moved again and his commute is an hour there and back. I became a SAHM after our second was born. So I have been out of work for a year and a half now. Through this time I have been dealing with a lot of emotions and identity crisis that I just didn’t know how to control. I kept putting blame on everything around me. Our pets, our kids, motherhood, and the worst blame was my partner. I allowed these TikTok’s to make me believe that my partner was never enough. And I constantly brought up fights and questioned his love towards me. That he was never trying. He was always reassuring me otherwise and I still denied him. I envied his life because I felt he had it far easier. And now our last few fights have turned into a very likely break up and it has caused me the greatest pain I’ve ever felt to think of losing this wonderful man who I have been hurting for so long. I blamed him for my depression and ultimately shamed him for who he is as a person. Instead of focusing on myself, I expected him to somehow fix me. He believes that he has fallen out of love with me and that I deserve better. He told me he would always make sure the kids and I were taken care of and that he’d give me anything. He said he doesn’t think he’s someone who could ever be happy with anyone. He told me I wasn’t to blame and I was absolutely perfect.
But I haven’t been perfect. I’ve only been a good nurturer to him, but I invalidated his emotions and failed to recognize his own struggles as a working father and provider. I’ve been selfish and a poor communicator.
He said he’s not going anywhere for now as he wants to be there for the birth of our child and to support me for the time after. And I’ve been spiraling out of control for the past week that this has happened. I need advice on how I can save our relationship. I have caused him so much pain.
His family insist I focus on myself and give him time and continue to be the person I am. That if I push it he’s going to further shut down. His whole family said they are praying for us and are all very sad to see us going through this. And I’m trying so hard. But I’ve been so tempted to beg for forgiveness. I don’t want to lose him.

Submitted March 09, 2023 at 01:39AM by Blooayd https://ift.tt/stxMibK