My (27f) bf (34m) of 6 years came home at 7:45pm yesterday after we had a conversation about setting aside some time to rekindle our sex life. He usually gets home from work anywhere from 5pm-6:30pm. Usually it's 6pm unless he visits his mom which can take up to 2 hours depending on how long he gets "sucked in" for.
I rarely ask him if he's busy after work and we've been having some intimacy issues and I suggested we have a date night and play a game.
I was looking forward to it all day and when I realized he took some things he needed to return to his mom, it clicked that he was visiting her after work and I was very hurt.
I never badger him about texting me when he comes home late although I have asked him to in the past.
I told him I was hurt that he didn't send me a text to let me know he was coming home late, especially when I specifically asked him the night before if he was busy so we could have a date night.
He said that visiting his mom doesn't count as being "busy". I pointed out that I have asked him if he could let me know when he comes home late regardless, which he denied (I definitely have asked that more than once).
He just kept deflecting it back onto me saying that he comes home from work anywhere between 5-7pm and it shouldn't have mattered.
I had a feeling that would be his excuse, am I being unreasonable for being upset about this like he says I am? I can't wrap my brain around his reasoning and I'm hoping someone else can shed some light on it.
I told him I understand he gets sucked into his mom's house when he visits but I felt very dismissed when I told him it hurt my feelings. He also said he didn't realize it was "such a SPECIAL night for me" in a very condescending and sarcastic tone.
But he took the things he needed to return to his mom so he planned to go there in the morning and had all day to send me a text letting me know which he didn't. He says he didn't plan to stop there it just happened. I am not understanding his argument at all.
TLDR; My BF and I were talking about how to rekindle our sex life and I asked him if he was busy the following day. He told me he wasn't busy, so I asked if we could have a date night playing games and possible sex. He didn't show up until 7:45pm when he usually comes home at 6pm. He visited his mom on the way home and didn't tell me because that doesn't count as being "busy" to him. I felt very hurt but he isn't understanding why.
Am I being unreasonable? I feel very stood up especially because I was hoping to rekindle some sparks. It hurts when I try to be vulnerable and my partner finds a way to make me not want to be vulnerable with them again.
Submitted March 08, 2023 at 01:05PM by Reasonable-Soup9633 https://ift.tt/ZzaS6QH
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