How do I tell my estranged sister that I don't want to help her with my nephew's treatment?

This is going to be a long ride with plenty of drama ahead. In a normal condition, I would love to help my nephew out but I cannot unsee what she did. To shorten this ride, I dated my sister's(43) bestie(43) and was married to her for 10 years before she cheated on me. My sister, I'm ashamed to say it, covered for her because my wife was the sister she never had. My ex wife fed her all sorts of bull crap I was abusove and used to beat her. That alienated me from everyone. She not only received full custody of our kids, I was jailed for "abusing" her for 2 years.

We lost our dad young. Firguratively I raised my sister by helping household and quitting my studies. My ex wife moved to Spain to settle down with her boyfriend. They're married now. I'm not in contact with my children. After I was released from jail, I went no contact with everyone due to intense shame. I had no face, nor courage to see anyone. 4 months after I was released, my mom saw me for the very first time. She believed in me I was no abuser.

I was still in no contact with my sister. She never reached out, neither did I. She acted as a witness in court to prove me as an abuser(oh the ultimate betrayal) My mom was in contact with her when one day she told me my sister was dating someone. She extended an apology to me for supporting my ex wife in her cheating and proving me to be an abuser. I never replied to it. She married the guy she was dating and moved to Spain as well. Neither me, nor our mom was invited to the wedding. She cut us off entirely.

So now I have a "nephew" and "niece" whom I never met. My so called sister reached out to mom. They want to settle down here because they can't keep up their living expense there. Her son has a life threatening condition and she needs our help to treat him. Mom is suffering from dementia. I'm not going to help her in any way after what she did. She and her husband siffered a major blow during covid. Now they are living at a renta place after selling their house. I have no intention in seeing her ever. I remarried someone and my wife said she will divorce me if I try to help my sister in any way. How do I tell her that I don't want to help her and it's best if she avoids coming here?

Tldr: My sister supported my wife during our divorce proceeding and cut me off from her life. Now she wants me to help her pay for my nephew's treatment. How do I tell her I'm not going to help her at all?

Edit: I think everyone is misunderstanding here. I don't want to help her with anything. The title is clear as water. How do I tell her I don't want to help her. I don't want to sound like an asshole eye for an eye guy. My wife is not a red flag for giving this ultimatum. I'm sure anyone in her place would do the same.

Submitted September 07, 2022 at 03:02AM by unfortunatelie1977 https://ift.tt/wFSOAcU