We've been together about 6 months roughly. We have a similar friend group, all went to school together - his friends are more my acquaintances, but we've all gotten along for the 10+ years we've known eachother.
Some situational context: recently, a friend was throwing a party. I gave my boyfriend a ride over, stopped to stay for a while and chat with everyone, then asked the host if I could party with them too because I was vibing with his buddies and their girlfriends (this was not a Boys Night type event). He said something along the lines of "of course you can - we already thought you were going to"
My boyfriend also seemed happy about it, so I didn't think anything of it. Night went great. Or.. so I thought.
Fast forward a month or so later, my boyfriend tells me the following:
"You were not invited to that party. Those are my friends. He asked if you were coming and I said no. You went OVER my head to him to ask if you could stay. Most of the night was fine, you stayed by me, but then you went and talked to [mutual friend] for a while and I didn't see you the rest of the night."
Which... well, I was always in eyeshot of my boyfriend. I could see him anyway, I figured he could see me. It was outdoors on a well lit lawn with no obstacles. I went around and mingled, yes - then would wander back over to him and see how he was doing and sit with him. There couldn't have been a period longer than 15 minutes that I wasn't next to him. it's not like I wandered behind the house or inside (other than to use the washroom.)
And it's not like this was some big, wild, pick-up chicks type party where someone might've come hit on me, either. It was about 20 people, most everyone is in a relationship and had their SO there, and we were all just drinking and hanging out.
I was baffled. He is closer with all these people, but I've also known them my whole life and consider them my friends too. Or I did, anyway, but... yeah. Obviously I don't want to perpetuate a rift between us, so I went ahead and just removed all his friends off my socials (not that I ever messaged any of them - we followed eachother's FB as a result of going to school together) and he thanked me for it.
The whole situation has left me feeling a little... Ick. I of course am not going to bother attending another gathering like that with him. I'd understand it if he just flat out said he didn't want me to hang out with his friends - some guys just want their love life and social life separate, but the language he used was just... Ick. Even if he'd just... have said he wanted to attend alone, because before I asked the host I told my boyfriend I was thinking of hanging around and he honestly seemed okay with it.
It's just an odd situation. I don't know what to make of this, if it's a red flag, or if I did something genuinely wrong here.
TL;DR boyfriend angry that I "went over his head" to the host and asked to attend a small party (and got permission) when my boyfriend didn't want me there - which I was oblivious to, because he didn't tell me. Unsure of what to make of the phrasing he used and wondering if this is some sort of red flag or a fuck up on my part or really poor communication.
Submitted August 07, 2022 at 09:02PM by buildmeupbuttercup03 https://ift.tt/mL7Olkj
No comments:
Post a Comment