Hey everyone. I'm very new to reddit and my English is whack, so bare with me. Thanks.
My boyfriend (42M) and I (26F) have been together for 3 years, and we live together for about 2. I love him to death but we have a reoccurring fight, which frustrates me to the point I'm entertaining really awful thoughts about the future of our relationship. Maybe I'm being dramatic. I've always been a little too dramatic.
Yesterday morning was a really great morning. We were both on a day off from work, got up, made breakfast, had sex, all the good stuff. Then he said we were out of ice so I went out to get some.
When I got back, the first thing he said when I walked through the door was, "I need you to put away all of your things in the living room". I was a little annoyed but told him I would. Then he just. Kept. Going. and said, "I don't understand why you always wait for the last moment", and, "is it so hard to just put your things away after you use them?", and, "why do you always have to wait for me to tell you?" and he went on and on and on and on and on!!!!!!!! and when I tried to say, okay, I got it the first time, he started screaming, "you can't take criticism". I tried to tell him, very calmly, that it's not that I can't take criticism, it's that he gives me the criticism and then just keeps going, making himself angrier and angrier for no fucking reason. But I couldn't even get a word out. As soon as I opened my mouth he started yelling, "No, I don't want to talk right now, get away from me, give me an hour to calm down". And I'm just sitting there dumbfounded!!!! I asked him how the hell we got here again, and tried to defuse the situation, but he just yelled at me on the top of his lungs to "get the fuck away from me", "I don't want to hear you", "I don't want to talk". I couldn't get a word in. Not a single one. I started crying because I was so fucking frustrated and he started laughing and telling me I'm overreacting.
This happens all the time with him. Every time it's about something different, it doesn't matter the reason. It can be a dirty cup in the sink or a stain he discovered. He riles himself up about something or the other, doesn't let me speak for myself, and we can only talk when he feels like it. It's not that I'm a slob, I cook, I clean, I dust, I do the laundry. I love it, it relaxes me, I'm not complaining. But we all have our little flaws, god knows he does lots of things I dislike around the house, like leaving water drops on the bathroom floor after he washes his hands. But there's a way to talk about these things without losing our minds, right?
Anyway. I was so angry this time that I stormed out of the house. When I got back I tried to talk but again, he "doesn't want to talk right now". To be fair at this stage I was screaming too so I can't blame him for being defensive. Thing is, we haven't spoken since. I tried to ask him a few trivial questions after a few hours, like, "do you want dinner?", and "how's your daughter doing?" (he was visiting her after our fight) but all I got was short, yes and no answers. Then he went studying and shut me off. I went to bed and we haven't spoke since.
I'm so fucking frustrated. This happens all the time and without warning. I'm walking on eggshells around him. I've told him this repeatedly but he doesn't change. How can I make him see what's happening? Am I to blame here? I'm willing to accept that I'm in the wrong, it's just that he won't talk to me to tell me what I'm doing wrong!
Oh, and, about the age difference. Yes we have 16 years between us. No, it's not something that bothers either of us. We plan on getting married and having children of our own. It just works. You know, until he starts with the bullshit above.
TLDR everything is great until my boyfriend suddenly gets mad about trivial things, riles himself up without me even saying a word, and then I need to beg to be able to talk to him.
Submitted February 08, 2022 at 12:36AM by bigcrybaby_ https://ift.tt/8gh4cRl
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