I (35m) and my wife (34f) have been together for 9 years. Over those years I have slowly taken away things from her plate. For example, when we met, I wasn’t working, so I started cooking her meals. Small gesture that seems nice. I also started cleaning the house. Again small gesture that seems nice. The issue is that it came from a selfish place. From an insecure place. I did it because I felt like I wasn’t bringing anything to the relationship.
Fast forward to today, I am working. She is a stay at home mom to our two year old. But because of Covid, I work from home. And to this day, I do all the cooking, I do all the cleaning, I drive the car and do the groceries, I kill the bugs, I flip the breakers when the power surges. I take our daughter to the park. I do all of these things because my wife can’t do them anymore. Everything I listed gives her massive anxiety or she is plain unmotivated to do it because she feels so depressed and useless now. It’s been so many years that it’s really damaged her self efficacy.
Now that it’s gone so far, we don’t know how to fix it. I’m working on my codependency. I want her to do these things. I want her to be independent and happy. But now it’s hard to climb out of this hole.
Has anyone else gone through something similar? Any tips or suggestions on how to learn to do scary things you once did without problem?
tldr; because of my “nice guy syndrome” and codependence, I started to do everything for my wife so now she doesn’t know how to do anything by herself. Need help on how to fix this.
Submitted February 21, 2022 at 04:07AM by Ok_Tear_2650 https://ift.tt/qfgMc7O
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