Im starting to feel like I’m in the wrong for not being able to let go of something that happened over a year ago and I need advice on how to address the situation.

Before I say anything I apologize in advance for my spelling and grammar. It tends to be bad because of a learning disability. Also I’m new to Reddit so I apologize if I do something incorrectly.

Almost a year ago now I (18F) was supposed to go to prom with my partner (18M) but things kind of took a turn to where it turned into something that has caused lasting damage for me and I can’t seem to forget the situation. My boyfriend and I had been together almost a year at this point (close to two years now) planned to go to prom together for months and school dances have always been a bit of a touchy subject for me so me and my partner both knew this night was EXTREMELY important to me. especially since I would talk about how excited I was almost every day for the two months leading up to the event because I was homeschooled in high school and this was my one chance for a good school dance experience. The issue comes in where about a week before prom my partner had forgotten we where meant to go together and his friend had asked him to go with a girl who didn’t have a date and he agreed to go with her. When he told me that I gently reminded him that we where supposed to go together and he said it was “too late” for us to go together now because he already had a commitment to a new date and both his friend and his new date would be mad if he took me. At that point I did end up getting quite upset with him to the point where he told me he was just not going to go to prom at all since he now couldn’t take me and then he could find an excuse as to not upset his date and instead we would just spend the night gaming together. A week went by and it was the night of prom. he was completely absent from his phone (which is not normal for him) and I instantly knew something was up. I ended up being blunt and straight up asked him if he had lied to me about not going and he very quickly admitted that he was going he was currently taking pictures with his date. To say the least I was extremely hurt and he spent his whole night trying to console me over the phone while at prom as to prevent further issues. After that he had promised me a “makeup night” that also proceeded to never happen because he forgot to plan it. Now here’s where I think I might be causing an issue. It’s been about a year since this happened and every time I see someone buying their prom dress,or getting prom-posed to I absolutely break down remembering what happened with my partner. I can’t even stand the thought of prom to the point where I turned down a modeling job that could’ve incredibly boosted my carrier just because I would be modeling prom dresses and the trauma around the whole thing is just too much. And every time I get upset my partner falls into a complete guilt episode about it and will constantly blame me for not being able to let go of something that happened so long ago and say that “whenever I choose to get upset I’m making his life worse”. His friends also agree that even though the situation was horrible it’s been over a year and I’m over reacting. I’ve been able to let go of much worse things that have happened in our relationship but for some reason I just can’t forget this one and the constant reminders of it all still makes me sick. I’ve tried to just talk it through with my partner as well but whenever I try to bring it up in a conversation to where we could find a solution he refuses to talk to me about it because he “feels to guilty” to bring it back up and I have no clue how to fix the situation and I really need some natural ground advice on how to go about everything.

Tl;DR :my boyfriend said he would take me to prom,didn’t,and lied about going and I can’t seem to move past it a year later and now it’s causing some medium sized issues in our relationship and in my personal/professional life

Submitted February 17, 2022 at 05:00PM by noggers202 https://ift.tt/tLNl8up