I hate my dad.

I was going to post in r/advice but thought it may be better here.

I’m using a throwaway account because I’m kind of ashamed to say it out loud.

My dad had no part in raising me (25F) or my sister. My mom divorced him when I was 4 and he sulked away to a different city and came to visit us every once in a while.

He never paid a single cent of child support despite being a construction foreman and earning 6 figures.

He married a crazy alcoholic when I was 7, which resulted in my mom forbidding us to go to his house (for our safety). He was more than welcome to come visit us, just without crazy wife.

Instead, he just stopped contacting us for 2 years. Then we found him on Facebook when we were older and rekindled contact.

Since then he takes us out for brunch every Sunday but always leaves after an hour. I guess he can’t spend too much time with us for whatever reason. He’s a surly asshole.

He divorced his wife a few years back.

He gave me a credit card so he can support me through school a bit which I sincerely appreciate. I thought it would be him making up for being absent while I was growing up. However all it’s done is given him control over me. When I use the card too much (I only use it for groceries) he calls me to yell at me. But when I don’t use the card he calls me to tell me to just use it???

I don’t even really know the man. He never talks about himself, all he does is complain and be bitter. He likes my sister more than he likes me, because she’s quiet and doesn’t call him on his BS. Secretly she’s done with him too. I think she only sees him on weekends out of pity.

Do I cut him off entirely? I honestly don’t want to have to deal with him anymore. I know it would be good for me to talk to him about my feelings but I don’t know how.

Not because I’m not good at conflict or communication, I am actually pretty good with it. I just don’t know how to talk to HIM. I don’t feel like I have any sort of connection to him. He’s more like a distant uncle than a father.

It makes me so uncomfortable. I can barely hide my disdain for him when I see him.

tl;dr: I can’t stand my distant father, I feel like he brings more bad into my life than good and am considering cutting him out.

Advice?

Submitted February 14, 2022 at 04:56PM by TraditionalFerret309 https://ift.tt/t6Ejsuh