2 weeks ago I (22m) was forced to end things with my best friend (20f). I’ve been best friends with her for over a year. Eventually I fell pretty hard for her. She didn’t feel the same way, but we stayed very close friends.
For the first time in my life, I felt supported, liked for who I am, and she pushed me to go after my dreams. All of that really meant so much to me. We also had so many similar interests.
We kept meeting a lot, sometimes we took distance from each other due to my feelings making it complicated. But after a while we would always gravitate back to each other. To me, when we hung out, it kinda felt like we were a couple, but not really.. It was weird and messed with my head. Even though nothing physical ever happened between us, we were incredibly close.
2 weeks ago I completely crashed, each time I saw her, I would end up feeling terrible afterwards. It’s like each time after seeing her I realized how much I loved her, but it hurt so much that we couldn’t be more. Throughout the last months this actually became very unhealthy for me, and my self-esteem started crumbling. Each time after seeing her, it would almost cause me to enter a depressive episode because my love was unrequited.
So I told her that I can no longer see her, it’s too painful for me. I could only see her again if we could become something serious in the future. This is terrible, but sadly the truth. Our friendship was unhealthy and weirdly codependent for a friendship, and at the end of the day I would be the one to get my heart broken.
This is where everything ended for us. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this much pain and heartbreak in my life. I wasn’t even dating her, yet I am utterly devastated and in deep grief. I have these random episodes during the day where I can’t contain myself and just start crying. All of our memories together keep flashing in my head. I'm going to miss her like crazy and never thought it would end like this.
I feel terrible for having to put her through this as well. After telling her this, she completely vanished from everywhere. I heard from mutual friends she’s been feeling miserable and she has been crying all the time. It seems like she’s in deep pain as well.
How do I heal from this? It's been two weeks and I still feel terrible, which I didn't expect, because we never dated. How long will this take for me to feel better? I don't really want to start dating yet before I'm healed.
TL;DR: Ended things with my best friend, ended up feeling completely heartbroken. It feels worse than a breakup. How do I take steps to heal from this? It's the first time I've ever gone through something like this.
Submitted February 16, 2022 at 04:11AM by SomeRandy33 https://ift.tt/QYk6d7a
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