My (21F) friend (21F) won’t take my advice on her terrible boyfriend (25M) and I can’t keep giving her advice.

I’ve (21F) been friends with this girl (21F) for about 2 1/2 years now. She’s a little awkward and doesn’t have a whole lot of people to talk to, so I try to stay in her life as much as I can because I want her to have people to talk to, and I like having her as a friend. Last year she met this guy at our work (25M), who I trained and they ended up dating.

Now I didn’t think this guy was bad news when I met him. He mentioned he had kids, and that he smoked weed. In our State weed is legal, and I have lots of friends who smoke, so I didn’t view it as a red flag. But I recently found out he doesn’t just smoke weed, but he also smokes pills like oxy that you get off the street. Now I know addiction doesn’t make someone a bad person, but she’s a young girl and I don’t want her to spend her life with someone who has no desire to get help.

He doesn’t take care of his kids, he lives with his parents and lets them take care of them full time pretty much. He’s constantly calling out of work because he doesn’t feel like going, and he’ll blow her off for days.

When I first met him and mentioned I had a boyfriend he asked “have you both been loyal to each other” in a way I felt insinuated he was wondering if there was a potential in with me. And once they started dating he was weird about her telling other girls at work that they were dating.

He’s taken her to multiple drug deals. Doesn’t want her to have guy friends but defends him having girl friends. And asked her to lie to his family and hers about his drug use.

She’s always asking me for advice, and I try to explain how he is manipulative, and isn’t going to be a good person for a long term relationship but she never listens. She tells me she doesn’t want to be with him anymore but then changes her mind the next day. And I know this is common in abusive relationships, and I still want to be there for her, but it’s also exhausting to give her all this advice and for her to never take any of it. How do I distance myself, but still maintain our relationship? How do I let her know I can’t keep giving her all this advice, but let her know that if something serious happens I still want her to reach out about it? I still want her to have someone to talk to about this, but I can’t figure out how to draw the line. I really just need some advice about how to handle this.

TL;DR - My friend is dating a dead beat, opioid addict, and no matter what I say I can’t seem to convince her to leave him, but she continues to ask me for advice. How to I draw a line in a way she knows she can still talk to me about it, but that I can’t handle her ignoring all my advice?

Submitted February 10, 2022 at 06:55PM by 70sloverchild https://ift.tt/LMlEk9p