So I've been married a little over 2 years (we're both mid 30s F), and we've been together almost 4 years total. I've always not liked the extent my wife is in contact with her ex. It use to be SO much more, but thankfully over time its decreased (from me begging for it to lessen). However I still wish it would be less contact than it is.
Here is the current situation: my wife and her ex share 2 dogs. So my wife gets the dogs 3 days a week. Once on the weekend, and once mid-week. So that's 4 times a week shes going to her ex's to swap the dogs. They use to swap the dogs every other day! But after about a year I was able to point out how excessive that was.
I love these dogs, but I feel like its reasonable to just have them on the weekends (instead of also mid-week). Part of the issue is one of the dogs wants to attack our cat, so we have to keep them separate at all times. Which ends up meaning our cat is stuck in a room the majority of the day & night, except for 1-3 hours at night we let our cat out and put that dog in another room. I'm really starting to feel bad that our cat is stuck in a room for the majority of 3 days. Which has made me start dreading the days we get the dogs because the cat will be alone. Also I'm just really over how much back and forth it all is. I hate that they're still in so much contact. I trust my wife 100%. I just hate feeling like her ex is a part of our life. Its also other little things like her ex still uses our Netflix and Hulu, still has her name on the bank account checks. And just a week ago my wife asked if we can use her ex's paramount account, my response was "please no". My wife has a very nice savings account and makes good money, there's no need for us to share another streaming service. There's a lot of little examples like that. Her ex use to text her SO MUCH for years, but finally it has chilled out.
I know a lot of people might say ex's can stay friends. Which I agree with. But my wife has flat out told me she wouldn't want me to be friends with my ex husband. And I've agreed that I'd rather her not be friends with her ex (even though they basically are). I think its something that each couple should discuss and decide for themselves.
TLDR: my wife shares 2 dogs with her ex and currently has them mid-week and on the weekends (3 days total). Is it reasonable to ask for her to decrease it to only have the dogs every weekend? Especially because we have to keep our cat away from one of the dogs, and our cat ends up being stuck in a room alone for most of the time. Plus I'm really tired of how much back and forth with the dogs causes her to stay in contact with her ex.
Submitted February 04, 2022 at 01:12AM by Inevitable-Habit5999 https://ift.tt/pfT9Dlq
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