Today, my friend with benefits (33f) told me (33m) that she loves me and now I feel like a total pos.

Going back a couple months, both of us have recently gotten out of long term relationships. Lets call her "F". She left her ex bf; my ex fiancè (32f) left me. We met on an app infamous for facilitating both hooking up and serious dating. Things went really fast for us after a couple weeks of texting. Straight to the bedroom, no coffee date, no discussion about our intentions. After about a week of that, I finally had an opening to steer the conversation towards what we're looking for after she mentioned that her ex was wasting her time with zero intention of things progressing.

She's looking for something that can get serious, but I'm not. I explained that I'm going to pursue a career change that will require me to move to another city after my first year of college, and that I'm still hurting over my ex. She really tried to persuade me to date but I told her that I don't feel right 7about dating someone when I'm still having dreams about someone else. I told her that I don't want to lead her on, string her along or waste her time. I told her not to wait for me and not to hesitate at the chance to date someone else. We decided to stay friends but to stop sleeping together.

That lasted about a week. We both caved and started sleeping together again. After the first night of sleeping together again, she said that she's ok with being f.w.bs because she can't go that long without getting some action from me, I'm too attractive for her to keep her hands off me, ect.

Fast forward to yesterday. Yesterday I was a pallbearer for my cousin's funeral. I'm still so pissed off at my ex for dumping while I was off work due to a shoulder injury, and now not being there for the "love of her life" while I carry someone who I used to babysit to his grave.

Today, I was talking to F about the funeral and all the hurt that my family and I are going through. In response, she said something very sweet and endearing that included "I love you ". At that moment, ton of memories of my ex saying that just flooded my mind and brought me back to day 1 of the breakup, especially remembering the day I got engaged. "I just got engaged to the love of my life, I love you Specialist Pirate, forever and always", turned out not to be true.

I can't bring myself to say "I love you too" to F when I'm clearly still in love with someone else. What do I do?

TL;DR

A friend of mine said that she loves me, but I'm still in love with my ex, and now I feel like a total piece of shit for sleeping with her.

Edit: good advice. Time to delete this throwaway account.

Submitted January 07, 2022 at 05:41PM by Specialist-Pirate-16 https://ift.tt/3G6bbA0