My boyfriend [34M] and I [31F] are buying a house: he just dropped that he wants his non English speaking family to live with us

Been together 3 years, he has the ring (we went shopping together) so looking at engaged very soon. He's Asian and prioritizes his family much more than I do (my family also sucks). Both of us live with family at the moment to save money for a house. He's brought up having his parents move in several times in the past and we had fought every time. We haven't even lived together and he wants to move his parents into our house? They don't really have any medical conditions other than old people stuff (high BP, etc) and THEY DONT SPEAK ENGLISH. I can only ask them how their day was. It's been 3 years and I feel like I really don't know much about them. He says he doesn't want them to live alone but he has 3 other siblings, all of them better able to take care of his parents than us but for some reason he thinks they need to live with him.

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I'm worried that if I say no to his parents living with us that it will be the end of the line for us. I'm not going to make anyone chose someone over their family.

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We have talked about a mother in law suite and even that seems invasive for a couple that just started living together. We are moving out of state and he says that maybe they could live with us for a short time while they find a house in the area to move to which I was fine with. We had a major blow up fight because the other night I found out that a "short time" meant indefinitely to him... I thought it was 2 weeks, maybe a few months. I told him 6 months would be way too long and he seemed shocked. When I asked him how long he would want them there he said ideally he's like them to live with us.

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The fact that 6 months seems like not enough time for his parents to find a house and move out is very troubling. I feel almost certain it will turn into forever. They are only in their late 50's and still mobile so I am looking at possibly living with them for the rest of my life. I've asked him to talk to his parents about how long they expect to realistically stay with us but from his response I'm worried that be already basically gave them an open invitation.

I've been living with my parents with no privacy for most of my life and I was finally excited to having my own living space. Now, I dread the idea. I feel like I worked too hard to afford my privacy so it's depressing that I'd be going from living with my family to living with someone elses family which are strangers to me.

TLDR; my boyfriend asked me to buy a house with him but weeks later I find out that he has the intention of moving his family in with us for an "undetermined amount of time" (longer than 6 months). Is it fair to have him pick me over his family?

Submitted January 08, 2022 at 06:06AM by throwaway586059 https://ift.tt/3q7cCsl