My(f23) friend(f25) introduced me to a guy (m26) about 10 months ago at her birthday. She said he was sweet and genuine and had never been creepy towards her. I pursued a friendship with him for a few months. I was careful not to give either wrong impression, I confided that I had been in a DV relationship with someone who cut me off from all my friends, that I wanted to make friends and that the last thing I wanted at the moment was a relationship. One time hanging out, we both got pretty drunk. I feel uncomfortable about how close he was getting to me. I would move away, he kept stepping forward and leaning over me, and I kept stepping back. I tried to play it off and act casual. Eventually, he leaned in to kiss me, and I didn't know what to do, so stupidly I kissed him back. I don’t think he was trying to pressure me. I think he was just oblivious to my signs. Very soon after, I told him I didn’t want to pursue a romantic relationship and wanted to maintain a platonic friendship because I valued him. His response was, "just leave me alone." About 2 weeks later, he drunk messaged me and said he wanted to be friends again. We had a small conversation, but I stopped responding. I don’t know why I did, but I felt uncomfortable and anxious. Fast forward 4-5 months, I saw him at a party. I felt I wasn’t welcome when he got there. I asked if I did the wrong thing by going. He kept responding then instantly deleting messages. He said he deleted them because he didn’t want to be too mean. It feels like he wants me cast out from the group. Since then, it’s been a cycle of me apologising, him making it seem like it will be okay, then changing his mind, or saying that he doesn’t want to say that it’s okay and then turn around the next day and say something awful to me. He said he doesn’t know if he will give me another chance because I could just hurt him again. I’ve said that his feelings are valid and that I respect them. He said that he’s mad at his friends because they wouldn’t expect him to accommodate someone who really hurt them. He said he wanted me booted from the group chat, but he couldn’t kick me out because he wasn’t an admin. I’ve offered to try and be friends, to back off entirely and not hang out with that group, or just to be an acquaintance and get along when we’re around each other. Last night we were both at an event. I said hi, and he kicked a chair forward; he didn’t ask but told me to sit. He said his heart was open to being friends again, and I thanked him and said I appreciated it. Today he messaged me that he was sorry for giving me the wrong impression that he was “more willing to co-operate” than he was. He also said in a way that implied I should be grateful that he could have explicitly stated I couldn’t be friends with any of his friends but didn’t (people I met all at the same time as him.) He said he's very angry at the situation and thay there's no solution. I've stopped responding to him. I feel guilty and like I’ve done something horrible? Is this weird behaviour? Input would be appreciated.
Tldr: I(23F) romantically rejected a friend(26M) months ago. He's angry and saying he'll be my friend and then changing his mind repeatedly.
Submitted September 02, 2021 at 07:19AM by throw_away_5240 https://ift.tt/3jEIz8h
No comments:
Post a Comment