Husband (35 m) has single female friend spend the night without telling me (35f) while I’m out of town.

Husband has single female friend spend the night without telling me while I’m out of town.

This post is in part looking for perspective, for me to rant and just documenting for me. Husband and I are both mid 30s have been married for 7 years, together 10 and we have a small child. Things have been not great but at the moment we are both trying to work things out for the sake of our son.

Now to the meat and potatoes. For my birthday we went to visit my mom and spend some time with them in a resort town where they live. Husband wanted to go back home Monday because even though we both WFH he said he had to meet with clients Tuesday and Wed. I stayed in resort town with our son who was having a ball with his grandparents. Monday and Tuesday husband is wanting to FaceTime with our son several times a day checking in via text etc. Wed night rolls around and I have heard nothing from him which is a bit weird since kiddo goes to bed at 8:00. At 7:00 I text him asking what he is up to and if I had any packages at the house ( was expecting something) he responds a few minutes later saying that I have a package but nothing about what he is up to. A little later I ask if he wants to FaceTime with kiddo before bed and he doesn’t respond. Around 8:00 I say ok kiddo says goodnight daddy and hear nothing back.

Nothing all night from him so I figure he is at the local bar enjoying a kid free night…fine I get it. The next morning rolls around and still nothing so I text him at 7:30 asking if he is ok and he writes back that he is fine just had some drinks and thought he had responded to my text but he didn’t actually send it. Then he asks how I slept mentions nothing about having anyone over or anything or what he did just that he had had “a few drinks”

At this point I had a hunch because this single woman friend of his was in town (I know because she texted me on my bd and mentioned it) I’m sort of friends with her but she is more his friend which I am fine with. They like to get together and drink amd she usually has too much and sleeps on our couch. Also fine but I am always there.

So anyway I ask him were you per chance hanging out with “Julie” last night and he says “yep why” but I had to ask him I really don’t think he was going to volunteer that info do you? Then he says nothing more about it and asked me how my night was. I then have to ask him if she spent the night he does not even volunteer that info either. Guess what yes she did. Because he isn’t volunteering amd has already being shaDy I now have to ask did she sleep in our sons bed, on the couch our bed etc? Is there anything else you want to mention? Then he says they both passed out on the couch watching tv and then he went upstairs and she stayed on the couch.

I’m not even mad that he had her over. It was that it was done behind my back with half truths while I was out of town and it doesn’t seem like he was even going to tell me that he had her over. He is the type of person that questions me why I got home from the bar at 11:30 when it closes at 11:00 but then thinks it’s fine to do what he did.

He did apologize but he keeps doing shady stuff not with women but just where he avoids telling me something because he thinks I will get mad (I guess) and it makes everything worse.

Do you know anyone that does this behavior? Did they ever change?

By the way he would be absolutely livid if I had a male friend or acquaintance over for dinner while he was out of town and drank with them until we both passed out on the couch (if that’s what even happened ha) not to mention lying about it.

TDLR: Husband has female single friend over for dinner and she spends the night. He does not talk to me about this beforehand amd is shady about it.

Submitted September 02, 2021 at 09:39AM by MissMolly86 https://ift.tt/3jBMSkC