Girl [24f] I’m [25m] dating gets frustrated when I want to use protection and offended when I proposed an STD screening. How to handle this?

So I’ve been dating this girl for 2 months. We met years back in high school and kinda stayed in contact. Always had an on-and-off crush on her and recently asked her out. It’s been a lot of fun so far.

Now that we’ve advanced to intimacy, a few disagreements have appeared, the most urgent of which is her attitude towards birth control. We’ve had sex 4 times and I’m pretty appalled by her lack of measures. The first time we did it she basically told me to just “pull out” at the last second. I disagreed because pregnancies and STDs and we used a condom.

I gave her oral with dental dam and she hated it. Later I refused unprotected oral sex when she offered it because it was only fair I guess, and I was pretty sure doing with a condom was going to be terrible for both.

Yesterday she expressed frustration over all this measures and I told her we should both do an STD screening this weekend and find a birth control method that lets us avoid all the fucking hoops and do it with nothing in between. She was offended by this and immediately said there was no need for that and she was scared of needles anyway. Plus, I was a virgin before so there’s no way I had anything, and she’s sure she’s clean.

I told her a screening was the best way to be sure, it would eliminate all the guessing and bring us peace of mind so we can then move on to another more comfortable method. She said I was being really mean to her because she felt I didn’t trust her to be clean. I told her it wasn’t a matter of trust because a lot of people don’t show symptoms until waaaaay after infection and others never show signs but can still propagate it. I told her being willing to get a screening would be a major sign of trust and respect towards each other.

She asked me if I thought she had a disease and I said no, but you’ve had multiple partners before and as I said, some people might not show symptoms, temporarily or permanently. She replied with something along the lines of “oh, so I’m a dirty sl#t now, huh?” and let out a few tears. She eventually left pretty upset.

I think she’s offended because she assumes I think she’s infected of something and it makes her feel embarrassed/insecure/whatever else. Also, her parents and past partners probably didn’t emphasize birth control so she’s not used to it but damn, that not how I want to move forward with this relationship.

How to talk to her again and see if she would listen to reason? How to appeal to her in a way that would be more likely to work? If she doesn’t agree, do I have to stop seeing her immediately?

tl;dr: Girl I’m dating doesn’t use birth control and is frustrated that I require it. I proposed an STD screening for both and moving forward with some birth control method that doesn’t include a barrier and she was offended and cried. How to move forward with this? How to talk to her in a way that she understands the importance of birth and stop being offended by someone asking her for a screening?

Submitted June 24, 2021 at 05:33AM by Ambitious_Play1069 https://ift.tt/3jc1wPQ