hey folks. im a long time lurker. i really appreciate you guys, alot of the advice ive read on here has helped me. Ive been trying to find a way to make this as concise as possible but its just been really difficult to give an honest account, so apologies if its long.
To give some backstory, my parents brought me to the U.S illegally when i was 8 months old. growing up in the U.S, i never really fathomed what that meant. it was only until applying for college, and subsequently, looking for work was where i fathomed the obstruction that it is..
i guess it was a level of trying to imitate a happy family. but the last couple of years, ive been very good with my family. ive kept frequent contact, been there for my family when i was needed. But i guess something fllicked in my head recently. All of the major hardships and limitations in my life are directly related to the fact that im an undocumented immigrant here in the states. Whether it be scholarships, career opportunities, traveling opportunities, I missed out or lost all of those options. To survive intially, and luckily today to live comfortably, i had to work extremely hard. and ive become extremely angry at my parents. i know they didnt quite deliberately put me in this predicament. but inadvertently, here i am. and im upset. i have 2 brothers. for my older brother(30m), they found a way to get him his citzenship( my older brother was also brought here illegally). and my little brother(26M) was born here. so all of the benefits and privileges that are provided to citizens of the states are available to them. but still not to me.
i feel extremely neglected. i feel angry and hurt. that my parents didnt afford me the same opportunities. that my parents expected me to just figure it out. that my parents left me to my own devices.
i spoke to my mother candidly recently. and told her how i feel. while her response wasnt authentic, it didnt address any of my grievances. it was just extremely apologetic.
my father recently has been pressing me to bring back a photo album of my childhood pictures from my apartment to theirs. and it just flicked a switch in my head. that a photo album is a priority when the issue of my legality is still the elephant in the room.
i dont think theres a right or wrong. i can say that undocumented or documented, i appreciate my parents bringing me to the states. i grew up here, love it as my home. had a roof over my head and food in my belly. but i guess its the amalgamation of the anxiety my status causes and the level of neglect of my situation my family shows.
I dont know how to get past the anger i have towards my parents. wondering if you folks have any advice.
TL;DR: parents brought me to the states illegally. The obstructions it caused in my life has built anger and resentment towards them I can't get over.
Submitted June 28, 2021 at 11:05PM by partwanoffmanee https://ift.tt/3qB5HWV
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