Yes, you read that correctly. My boyfriend is an amazing guy that I’ve been seeing for over a year and I’m really excited that he invited me to move in with him when my current lease is up at the end of August. The only problem is that I’m afraid he’s going to regret his decision once he realizes that the lovely young woman he’s welcomed into his one-bathroom condo takes poops that could put an NFL offensive lineman to shame.
Really, I wish I was joking. But I’m not. My poops are much more fragrant than the average person’s. I’ve seen doctors and (fortunately) there’s no medical issue that I can blame it on. It just seems that the combination my diet (heavy in cruciferous veggies, spices, and cheese), my sizeable appetite (men are invariably amazed that little 5’3” me can outeat them), and the fact that I rarely go more than once every other day (no matter how much fiber I try to consume), makes for some truly grotesque number twos. You do NOT want to go in there for a solid thirty minutes after I’ve been pooping, and no amount of Febreeze is going to save you. Even courtesy flushes are mostly ineffective.
Until now I’ve successfully avoided introducing this delightful ability of mine to my current boyfriend (or past boyfriends). It was just a matter of holding it in for a few hours or making an excuse to run down to the hotel lobby or out to Starbucks. But I know I’m not going to be able to do that every time (and besides, even if I tried, the local Starbucks would probably blacklist me once the employees realized it was the same redhead defiling their bathroom every other day). My current roommate is my BFF since college so she’s used to my horrific bathroom smells. I’ll let her know when I’m about to drop bombs so she can use the bathroom first and she knows well to stay away afterward. That system works well for us but I’m not sure how to broach the concept with my boyfriend who surely has no idea of the olfactory crimes that his petite girlfriend is capable of.
So, help me out here, redditors. If you’re a toxic pooper or in a relationship with one, how did things work out when you started sharing a bathroom? Do I try to discuss this with him ahead of time so he knows what he’s getting into? Or just let him experience the shock and awe the first time he enters after me and take it from there?
TLDR: I take intensely stinky poops and I don’t know how to deal with it when I move in with my boyfriend.
Submitted June 29, 2021 at 03:07PM by anxiousSuperPooper https://ift.tt/3xjzR3u
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