I've been with my girlfriend for about a year and a half now. She is an extreme extrovert, where i am more of an introvert. She loves to talk and I'm convinced she doesn't like silence. Even a month or so into our relationship, I noticed it started to wear me down a bit. Most times when she comes over to my place, the first 30-45 minutes of being here, I will have to sit and listen to her talk about anything and everything. Venting about things, complaining about her coworkers or friends, or just talking about her day. She can be arrogant and self absorbed as well, so that makes the conversations even more unbearable at times listening to her talk about how she's the best at work, or how people are jealous of her. Look I want to hear about my gf's day and be there for her, but it's even difficult to get a word in so I can join in on the conversation. By the time the rambling is over, i'm already exhausted. There are times where she is difficult to be around and I need to walk into the next room just to give myself some space.
Even while she is taking a shower, she will still try and have a conversations through the wall. And if it's not me she's talking while she's in the shower, she will call one of her friends (not always). Or if i'm using the bathroom she'll still bring up things and try to continue the conversation further. I've brought it up to her a few months into the relationship that it does bother me. It's not AS bad and she does attempt to work on the non-stop talking, and dials it back a bit. She knows I'm an introvert and tries to give me as much space as she can, but if she's not talking to me, she needs to be talking to her mom or sister on the phone. Around friends, it's pretty much the same and she carries all of the conversations, sometimes even speaking for me. Our phone conversations are mostly her rambling about something for 60 mins, and all I can fit in is "mhmm" or "right" as the conversation moves forward. There's times where I probably don't have to say anything back and she would still keep going for another 30 mins and not even notice if I was listening or not.
Despite all of this, I do love her and she is extremely thoughtful and caring. She leaves me notes in the morning and is always thinking of little things for us to do. She has a big heart and does listen closely when i can have my opportunity to talk (lol). She gets me out of my comfort zone which I like. I know if I walked away I would miss her greatly. Any advise on how to put into words how this is affecting me, without coming across as rude?
She is looking for houses at the moment and wants me to move in with her. I'm afraid if I make that jump, I'm going to be exhausted every single day. I'm leaning towards renewing my apartment lease, but i know if I do that, it could really hurt our relationship and she will obviously question our future together. At this point though, I'm not completely 100% on our future and am wondering if this is just a compatibility issue, or something that could be worked on with proper communication.
I appreciate all of the help I can get here!
tldr; Being around my gf can be draining due to her non-stop talking. Is this something that can be fixed? Or is this just her personality and we aren't compatible for each other.
Submitted June 25, 2021 at 04:25PM by utleyphan26 https://ift.tt/2TZQume
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