My (41F) SIL (41F) and niece (12F) are visiting this week. We used to live close by before my husband (38M)and I moved cross country. We’ve had several pets over the years and I just don’t like the way they are treated by my in-laws. Years ago we once (and one time only) had them watch our dog for a long day while we were at a friend’s wedding. My SIL allowed my niece (much younger at the time) to give him a “makeover” by coloring his white fur with washable paint. We were so pissed and all she kept saying was it’s non-toxic and “look, he likes it” which makes zero sense like most of her beliefs about anything. Of course my dog had no clue what he looked like and there was no health risk, but I thought it was so disrespectful to use him for amusement that way. Fast forward to the current visit, their first since we moved out of state. My niece thinks my cat is mean because he hid from her and hissed at her in past encounters. I try to reinforce how being calm and soothing will get him to trust her and explore. She’s not being cruel to him, but she’s 12 and just acts unpredictably (random twirls and tik tok dance moves, will run through a room instead of walk, talks too loud, etc)…all things that a spooked cat doesn’t like. But my SIL who should act like an adult saw the cat back up and hiss and started crouching down and hissing back at him. She says “I’m just trying to show him how dramatic he’s being”. What? No, what you are doing is being threatening to a cat that doesn’t know your motives and reinforcing his fearful and defensive behavior. Then her daughter thinks it’s funny and wants to join in on the teasing. I quickly got their attention on something else. But this is day 1 with more than a week to go and I don’t see us going without a confrontation.
TL;DR Sister-in-law teases my pets and allows her daughter to do the same. When pets respond to their behavior they get labeled as “mean” or if we get upset we are overreacting.
Submitted June 28, 2021 at 11:44PM by HeathrBee https://ift.tt/3duuwyK
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