Hi, I need advice. Tldr: I’m craving alone time AT HOME and I don’t know how to get it.
So, I’ve been in a relationship with my partner for 10 years. For the most part it’s great.
However, my partner doesn’t seem to have any interest in leaving the house for long periods of time. It’s starting to annoy and irritate me, and I don’t know if I’m wrong for feeling like this (feel free to tell me if I’m in the wrong).
We live in a beautiful apartment, overlooking some water with a brilliant outdoor space. I love it here. However, my partner doesn’t really like my friends coming over (age gap showing here) so I never get the chance to share it with them. In addition to that, he can be quite up tight about things like cleaning, and even smells (for example the smells of certain food) so I try and avoid making a mess or eating things that annoy him. I don’t mind that stuff, it’s minor.
However, what I’d love is for at least a night a month or a few days a year to just have my apartment to myself.
Am I wrong for wanting that?
I’d love to have a few nights where I can order pizza, drinks beers, have my friends over, or even just sit at home and make a mess and lounge around and do nothing.
The problem is, my partner NEVER leaves. I mean never ever. He’ll leave to go to the gym or to see family or other activities, but he always comes back the same day. He’s barely away for more than 12hrs at a time. (EDIT! Seems people misunderstood this point - By “12 hrs at a time” I’m referring to the rare occasion he stays overnight somewhere, once a year or so, he’ll leave at 8pm and be back by 8am or earlier and assigns me tasks to do during that period so I can’t relax. He also doesn’t tell me in advance of when he’s going or returning, so I can’t plan)
So far I’ve been working around this by booking trips away by myself and seeing my friends and family there, and then I have my hotel room where I can lounge around and get some alone time. But its not the same as being at home
it’s starting to annoy me - like why do I have to pay for a hotel, travel the country and take time off work just to have some time to myself ? And the thing that annoys me more is that he loves alone time too - and I give him tons of it, but he doesn’t afford me the same luxury. He’ll always have at least 3 weeks out of the year where he has the place to himself, and during those times he always texts me to say how nice it is to relax in our place.
I want the same space, just a few days and nights of “‘me time” in my own home every now and then. I’ve lived here for 3 years and I have no idea what it’s like to be here by myself.
How can I ask for him to leave the house overnight more often without seeming like an asshole?
PS I love spending time together, I love him. About 90% of my time is spent with him, the other 10% is with friends - but I want time when I’m alone, in my own home.
Submitted June 28, 2021 at 05:39AM by Maleficent-Mark3014 https://ift.tt/3qDYC8b
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