My (36F) BF (36M) of 7 years is upset that I didn’t act happier around his drunk friends in the days leading up to our medical termination

A lot to unpack here. I’ve been with my spouse for 7 years. We aren’t married but own a home and 3 pets together. We intentionally got pregnant 4 months ago and we’re elated. 2 weeks ago we discovered there were chromosomal issues with the baby and we elected to terminate for medical reasons to spare the baby. It’s been an incredibly difficult decision for us.

BF had a 3 day weekend planned for months with his 2 friends to come visit and stay which just happened to land on the weekend before our compassionate termination. I said it was fine. I booked myself a hotel for 1 night and paid for our puppy to be boarded for 2 nights to help accommodate them. They spent 3 days and nights golfing, going out to eat, drinking til 3 am, and being hungover.

On the day they were leaving, I had to go pick up our puppy and it happened to land at the same time they were coming in from our backyard to start heading out. They were shirtless, sweaty, and had been drinking for 4 or 5 hours. I apologized for not wanting to hug them goodbye at that moment but thanked them for coming and spending time with BF.

I got back home, the guys had left, and BF and I sat in the couch. BF says “Did you not hug them goodbye? I think that came off a little cold don’t you think?”

I LOST it. I went completely hysterical. Panicked, screaming, sobbing pregnant woman. I was expecting him to thank me for giving him this time with his friends to unwind in the days leading up to an emotionally (for us) and physically (for me) painful procedure, and he critiqued me for not wanting to hug his sweaty, half naked, drunk friends. I walked out of the room to our bedroom and I could hear him following me so I headed to our bathroom to get away and cool down but also stress/pregnancy pee and he started pushing the door open on me. This all unraveled very fast but I know that I had time to brace my feet against the wall to try and push the door closed and lock it. That kind of scared me.

Even after seeing me have a meltdown (I expressed how difficult it was to be essentially alone the past 3 days, my fears around the procedure, the brutality of it, my accommodating them the whole weekend, all while still dealing with being more and more pregnant each day), he stood by his comment but did back track a little bit which I honestly think is BS by saying that he was only trying to say that HE wants to work on being a warmer person bc he thinks COVID made him more distant and he was trying to have a conversation with me about it. My thought is “why don’t you start with being warmer towards me?”

tl;dr : BF and I are struggling through a medical termination and he’s upset I wasn’t “warmer” to his half naked drunk friends.

Submitted June 28, 2021 at 12:18AM by allupfromhere https://ift.tt/3dmacPV