I [28/F] just had LASIK and I don't know if I'm expecting too much care from my boyfriend [29/M] of 3.5 years.

I got LASIK yesterday. Not the biggest deal in the world, obviously, but it actually was more unpleasant than I expected. They gave me some Valium so when it was time to leave, I was dopey, sleepy, and pretty much blind.

My bf (let's call him Dave) drove me back to our shared home where I went to sleep for four hours. When I woke up, he was gone, running an errand with his mom or something. I was starving and went downstairs and saw he had ordered himself food but nothing for me.

He argued I was dead asleep so he couldn't have known I'd be hungry, but it's a place we go all the time. We know each other's orders. And wouldn't you think if you're running out that you'd want to leave something to eat for your doped up girlfriend who's in pain?

The night before I'd been out with friends and grabbed sandwiches late night at Wawa, and I bought him his favorite to bring home in case he wanted it. So I was a bit miffed he didn't return the favor when I was post-surgery. I said something like "it's fine, I'll just eat that Wawa sandwich," and he said "No I'm going to eat that later." So, ok. No food for me.

His friend came over last night and we have a nice time but I headed off to bed around midnight. Dave and his pal stayed up until 4am apparently.

Dave was supposed to drive me to my 24 hour follow up at the LASIK institute this morning at 10 (I was not supposed to drive myself yet). Then at 8AM, I get a text from our dog groomer saying she'd be at our house at 9:10AM. He booked this appointment weeks ago, didn't write it down, didn't tell me about it or anything.

He's basically comatose for the first 15 minutes of being awake and is a groggy fool. I was like - "you were supposed to drive me to the doctor!" and he said "I am!!!" and I said, "you're going to leave while the groomer has our dog in her van?" And he said "No!" you get the idea. It made no sense and he finally said he was too hung over to function, so I had to drive myself against doctors' orders.

On my way out the door I said, "you're going to wake up when the groomer rings the doorbell to give our dog back later, right?" he says "YESSS" in this annoyed voice.

Cut to 45 minutes later. I'm in my post-operative exam when my phone starts ringing. It's our groomer. I pick up and she says she's been outside ringing the doorbell for 10 minutes trying to give our dog back. I'm exasperated at this point. I call Dave, no answer. I call the groomer back and have to tell her how to unlock our front door (key code) so she can YELL at him to wake up. SO EMBARRASSING!!! And all this is DURING my exam!

I'm pissed when I get home but we have plans to go to his mom's house and hang out by her pool (don't worry, I'm not swimming yet). Nope. Dave proceeds to sleep until 2pm.

At one point he says, "if you're 'fine' enough to argue with me, you're fine enough to drive yourself!" I just thought that was a bit fucked. Okay, it's not a heart transplant, but it's still minor surgery and I'd expect the smallest bit of consideration and care.

He finally apologized profusely for his selfishness and then of course lets me know that he's going to some drum and bass show (very aggressive EDM) to "network" (he's trying to get into this industry a bit). He tells me I'm free to come with him but he won't reschedule. I literally cannot go to a show with lasers and strobe lights and fog machines right now.

On the one hand I don't want to act like I'm milking a routine and minor outpatient surgery. On the other hand, if my boyfriend won't drive me to an appointment 12 minutes away, can't be trusted to answer the door for our own dog, and doesn't even think his doped-up girlfriend might be hungry when she wakes up alone... what the hell would it be like to have KIDS with this person???

Please tell me if you think I'm overreacting or thinking too much into this. I'm feeling really cast aside and frustrated.

tl;dr: Got LASIK yesterday, recovery is going well but I need a bit of help, including a ride to a doctor's appointment. Boyfriend got too wasted last night and blew me off this morning, forcing me to drive myself before docs said I was ready - all while sleeping through a situation I had to deal with myself from the exam room. Am I overreacting?

Submitted June 26, 2021 at 03:50PM by lola_birds https://ift.tt/3A2vWdm